Fun With Ventrilo
by Historyman101
Summary: We all know Neru is a troll, but let's see what happens when she takes her trolling skills to the world of ventrilo and use it to annoy the hell out of anyone she happens to find. Who will fall victim to her vent harassments next! Rated T for some lang
1. First Assault

A/N: Hi! It's your pal Renton and Eureka Forever again. Guess what I'm doing! WRITING VOCALOID FANFICTION! I tried my hand at writing a fanfiction for the Eureka Seven movie but that didn't go over so well and I ultimately had to drop it since it was giving me more trouble than it was worth. But I said I will start over again with something new, and I have wanted to do a new story for Vocaloid for a while now.

This time, it's more centered on everyone's favorite tsundere: Akita Neru. We all know she is a snob who loves her cell phone, and we all know she is a troll who laughs at the idiocy of people on the internet, but I have noticed a lot of people don't really talk about the troll part. I decided to do that by combining two favorite things of mine: Vocaloid and Vent harassment.

For those of you who don't know what Vent harassment is, you can go on YouTube and search "Ventrilo harassment." You'll find tons of videos that will produce lulz guaranteed. There are people on the internet who search people's ventrilos (Ventrilo is internet communication software that people use either for chat or for gaming. Most often, it is for gaming in MMORPGS like World of Warcraft) and annoy the heck out of people on there for the lulz. Whether it is through the use of soundboards, loud annoying sounds, or through generally weird stuff to confuse people, it gets laughs out of people every time.

I watched many of these videos and I said to myself, "Neru would totally do that!" And from then on, I have been developing this story.

So sit back, relax, and prepare to be harassed. XD

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own vocaloid or Vent Harassment. I just love both.

**Fun with Ventrilo**

**By **

**Jordan Harms**

The blonde-haired yellow eyed Vocaloid sat alone at her computer, shining out like a lighthouse on a foggy night. on the screen was a window that showed a chat box for a Ventrilo server. She had put away her cell phone that was at her side almost all the time to partake in some good old fashioned fun on the mass communication software known as Ventrilo, a system used for people who wanted to chat or for gamers who wanted to coordinate their efforts in the digital world. They were all her prey.

She looked over what was on her desk and on her computer to make sure that everything was in order.

Recording software? Check.

IP scrambler? Check.

Soundboards? Check.

Ventrilo server? Check.

Everything was ready.

Tonight this little Vocaloid would have some fun doing what she knew she could do best: trolling.

She was actually a little nervous about trolling on Ventrilo, though she had seen other people do it on the internet to great effect. However she was more adept at trolling over the internet on forums and image boards like 4chan. Ventrilo was something new to her, but she thought at the same time that since it was new, it might be fun to annoy people online and see their reactions immediately.

She was about to put on her headphones when she heard a knock on the door to her room, followed by a hesitant and shaky voice.

"N-Neru? Are you in?"

The blonde girl, Neru, turned on her swiveling chair to face the door. She knew that voice from anywhere. It was her depressive alcoholic friend and fellow Vocaloid, Haku Yowane.

"Yeah, I'm here, Haku. C'mon in."

The door slowly creaked open and in stepped in her fair-weather friend Haku, wearing her silvery hair in a ponytail like always and dressed as she normally was in her grey top and black pants. Her eyes had a certain feel of nervousness and lack of confidence, which was a problem with her always since she considered herself untalented, a notion Neru always tried fervently to dispel. She spoke, her lips slightly trembling as they parted.

"Have you seen my sake bottle by any chance? I left it on the counter earlier this evening…"

Of course she would be asking about her sake. Sake was a means of escape for her to ease her depression which was significantly less than when she started out as a Vocaloid. Still despite a boost to her confidence, the vice of sake remained. A regrettable habit she tried to get rid of, but others around her learned to live with it.

Neru tried to think about where she could have seen the sake bottle she was referring to and remembered seeing Meiko grab a bottle on the counter without thinking before heading out with some friends for Karaoke, not even a word of goodbye to anyone in the Vocaloid house. Not that it mattered anyway, since no one else really knew she was gone.

"I think Meiko took it," Neru said showing care for her friend. "She was going out for Karaoke so she must have grabbed it thinking it was hers."

At that news, Haku's demeanor soured as she bowed her head as if in mourning for the loss of someone dear to her.

"Oh…darn…and that was the last sake bottle in the house…" Haku looked up and saw something that she didn't normally see on Neru's computer: it was on, and multiple windows were opened up. Normally whenever Neru was in her room she was usually texting on her cell phone or trying to do something on the computer before giving up and quitting five minutes later. Seeing multiple pages on the screen was new for her. "…Say, Neru," Haku asked, pointing to the computer monitor, "what are you doing on there?"

Neru looked to the monitor and did something Haku had never seen her do before: she smirked. It was the kind of smirk that foreshadowed coming mischief as if a great prank was lying in wait for an unsuspecting bystander. Haku might not know too much about Ventrilo harassment, but she could certainly be a good audience to share this first time with.

"You joined me just in time for the fun!" Neru replied with a sly and mischievous smile.

"F-fun?" Haku said worriedly.

"Yeah. C'mon in and I'll show you."

Haku took a few more uneasy steps into Neru's room and leaned in next to her, staring at the computer screen.

"What's that?" Haku asked, pointing at the window for the Vent server.

"That's a program called Ventrilo. People use it to talk to each other over the internet."

"You mean like Skype?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"What are you going to do in there?" Neru chuckled with a slight note of mischief in her voice.

"Find out who's in the channel, and annoy the hell out of them." Haku's eyes widened as if Neru had said something that would get her killed.

"But won't that get them angry at you?"

"That's the whole point of it!" Neru explained laughing. "You find whoever is in there and annoy them enough to get them angry at you. Then you laugh at them."

"But won't they find out it's you?"

"Nope. 'Cause I'm enlisting the help of some other friends for this so no one will know it's me. You want to watch?"

"I guess, if you know that you'll be safe."

"Trust me, Haku; we'll be fine."

"Okay, if you say so."

With that, Neru spun her chair back to face the computer and moved her mouse to the Ventrilo server window.

"What are you doing now?" Haku asked curiously.

"Finding out who's in the Ventrilo server right now."

She looked in the left hand side and saw the list of users in the channel. Four people.

_Vocalthe1st_

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

_Caddyshack_

For some reason, however, the names of these users seemed to remind her of a few of her colleagues in the Vocaloid home and in Crypton Media. No…it couldn't be…was it that…?

She entered the channel and heard the elegant voice of a certain Vocaloid.

"Hey, how is everyone tonight?"

"Leon?" Neru said out loud.

Leon was the oldest English Vocaloid and the first one to be produced. However he along with his partner Lola was quickly overshadowed by Kaito and Meiko when they came onto the world stage. He mostly hung around Crypton Media to keep things in line and provide some sagely advice to those who struggled along with doing some occasional songs in English.

"Don't talk, Neru!" Haku said worriedly. "They'll know it's you!"

"They can't hear me, Haku; I didn't key my microphone. Until I push a button to talk they won't know I'm here."

"Oh…"

Just then a younger and more lively female voice sprung in and introduced herself.

"Hi Leon! What's up? So glad you could join us!"

Neru's brow furrowed. She knew that high-pitched voice anywhere: Rin of the Kagamine twins. She and her brother Len were fairly popular Vocaloids and the youngest of the family at 14. Neru didn't particularly like Rin, mostly because of Neru's secret affections for Len. Though she tried hard to keep her feelings about him a secret it was easy for Rin to detect who she was after, and that inevitably led to many clashes between the two of them and the establishment of a rivalry between them. But her anger at Rin's presence gave way to seeing opportunity to get back at her for so many times she argued with her and fought with her over Len, who didn't seem to care either way. Neru knew instinctively too that wherever Rin was…

"Leon, long time, no talk!"

…Len was there also.

"dammit, why does Len have to be in here?" Neru lamented.

Now she didn't feel like doing any harassing on Ventrilo that her secret crush was in there. She felt like logging out and just going to bed.

"Neru, if I can give you some advice, you say that they don't know it's you right?" Haku offered meekly.

"Yeah…"

"So, even if you do harass them, it won't make a difference since they won't know it's you anyway. So…you shouldn't be afraid, right?"

Neru turned to her and saw in her uneasy and timid eyes what seemed to be the light of truth that could only be found when looking up at God. She had uttered something that was immediately lifted her spirits higher than where they were before, and Neru now had renewed confidence to go on doing what she had set out to do.

"Haku…YOU'RE A LIFESAVER!"

"I am?" Haku said slightly taken aback

"Thank you so much!!"

"You're…welcome?"

With that, Neru turned back to the computer and entered the channel, listening in on the conversation between them and while turning on her recording software, to keep an eye out for anything she could use as ammunition for harassment.

"Leon, did you say that you were going to try playing Runescape or something next week?" Len began.

"Yeah, that's right," Leon replied. "It looked pretty interesting though I don't know if it's for me."

"I'm not really into fantasy games myself, either."

"Hey Len," Rin chirped into the microphone, "Miku-chan got us all this new game. It was on a yard sale, but it sucks I was gonna try playing it last night but it's…two things, has a monthly fee and it's an expansion pack, so we need to get the first game."

"What game was it?" Len asked curiously.

"It was called _Everquest II_."

"Oh, I heard that game sucks," Len replied dejectedly.

"It looks pretty good, actually."

"Still…"

Neru and Haku nearly jumped out their skin at the next chirping of Rin into her microphone, talking especially loud. Was it possible for her to turn her microphone's volume down?!

"DUDE! You should have SEEN oh wait was…we were on a recording field trip and I went on my roller! I was like, 'I won't kill you.' Len and me get up on to the roadroller in TWO SECONDS and flatten the hell out of Kaito's ice cream bar and…Meiko's…who was it? I forget her name, though…"

Neru grinned evilly as she hit the stop button on her recording session and went quickly to editing the sound.

"What are you doing, now, Neru?" Haku asked curiously.

"I'm going to take what Rin said and use it against her."

"How are you going to do that?"

"You'll see."

After a couple minutes of editing the sound clips she wanted and adding the effects she needed, Neru quickly went back into the channel and keyed her microphone and played the clip of Rin talking excitedly so that everyone could hear it.

"_DUDE! You should have SEEN oh wait was…we were on a recording field trip and I went on my roller roller roller roller roller!"_

"Oh my God…" Leon said with a sense of dread. Neru took that as her cue to play the next clip.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game. It was on a yard sale yard sale yard sale yard sale yard sale…"_

"What the heck?" Len asked in confusion.

"MUTED!" Rin declared. "Mute him, Len!"

"Who the heck was that?" Len said, still befuddled and confused as to what happened.

"It's the one that's in our channel: 'Twin Echo'. I just muted him, holy crap…"

Neru sat back in her chair and contemplated what to do next as Haku looked on worriedly.

"Neru, they muted you! I guess that means you can't bother them anymore?"

"Oh I can easily come unmuted. I just have to change my username…" her voice became more sinister with each passing word as she furrowed her brow more. "…but what really pisses me off is that Rin thinks it's a guy doing this!"

"What do you mean?"

"She said she muted _him_. She's asking for harassment now!"

Haku only looked on in slight fear as Neru quickly typed on the keyboard and reentered the channel.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game."_

"What the heck?! I just got rid of you!" Rin cried in protest, knowing not what to do.

"I don't even know it, but some guy is trying to copy my name …" Len added, reporting on the fact Neru had to use his name to get back in.

"Forgive me, Len-chan," Neru said out loud, "But I have to use your name to get back at your sister."

She pushed another button and another sound clip from Rin played, but this time the sound clip was edited so the volume was up full blast.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game SHE GOT US ALL THIS NEW GAME."_

"Jesus H Christ, that blew out my ears!" Leon protested. The frustrated cries of the Kagamine twins soon followed in his wake.

"Oh my God!"

"Crap!"

At that moment Neru quickly exited the channel.

"Why did you do that? You had them good!" Haku protested.

"It's not good to stay in there too long or else you'll get muted," Neru explained, moving away her long blonde hair wrapped in her side ponytail. "You can avoid getting muted by quickly leaving before they do anything to you or by changing your name. Plus, I want to lure htem into a false sense of security before I annoy them some more."

"Oh…I guess that's a good idea."

"Yeah. Now to go back in…"

Neru quickly clicked her way back into the channel and joined Rin thinking the bane of their presence on Ventrilo was eradicated.

"Hmm, it looks like it's gone."

"Oh really?" Neru said aloud, and played a selected clip.

"_Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len Hey Len!"_

"WHAT THE FU—"

"_DUDE!"_

"You friggin' baka! I'm gonna roadroll you when I find out who you are!"

"You really suck at making threats, Rin," Neru said out loud. She secretly praised the fact her microphone wasn't keyed as she then played a loud clip.

"_HEY LEN MIKU-CHAN GOT US ALL THIS NEW GAME."_

"OW!" Len groaned in his microphone. "That is _extremely_ loud and I don't like it."

"Frickin' told you so!" Rin screamed in frustration as Neru continued to play clips. "Shut the hell—frickin' sss…"

"_Hey Len!"_

"Shut up, Rin, no one cares about—" Leon grumbled in agitation.

"No! It's Caddyshack! Muted!"

Neru then exited the channel and quickly changed her name, before reentering. She would not be deterred by this.

"A new person joined the vent," Leon observed unhappily.

"No…" Rin whispered, fearing the worst. "Please don't tell me…"

Neru waited a few seconds to let the suspense set in before she played a clip.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game—"_

"DUDE!" Leon cried in exasperation, "It's Everquest! It sucks!"

"Leon, that's not me!" Rin tried to explain.

"_DUDE!"_

"Who the fuck is 'Hey Len 3'?"

"I don't know if that means someone else has a crush on me or what…" Len said slightly confused.

"It's that guy!" Rin continued ignoring Len's comments. "He's recording everyone and repeating what they said! He keeps changing his name! He found out the vent info—"

"_DUDE!"_

"and…argh!"

"I muted him, sis," Len interjected. "It's okay."

"Len, you traitor," Neru said out loud as she exited the channel. "I thought you had some place in your heart for me…"

With a few more clicks on the keyboard she changed her name and was back in and played yet another clip.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game."_

"STOP IT CADDYSHACK!" Rin protested in exacerbation. "HOLY CRAP, MAN!"

"Did you mute him?" Len asked.

"I can't mute him! He's using Leon's name! I don't want to mute Leon!"

"You won't mute Leon; trust me you won't."

Neru then pressed a button repeatedly playing a clip of Rin uttering a single word that served to drive them all insane.

"_DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE!"_

"Caddyshack, STOP, man," Rin pleaded.

"_DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE!"_

"Caddyshack you're really starting to tick me off," Rin pleaded again this time with more anger in her voice. "Stop."

That served to only encourage Neru more as she played the clip over and over and sped it up with each repetition.

"_DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE!"_

"I think that's enough 'dude', Neru," Haku said meekly.

"I got a few more left," Neru returned, having too much fun and trying to hold back from laughing.

"Why don't you GO OUTSIDE and DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE?" Rin offered.

Neru waited a few seconds and sent Rin her answer.

"_DUDE!"_

"STOP!"

"_DUUUDE! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!"_

"GET. A. LIFE. YOU. SUCK. HONESTLY, WHAT YOU DO YOU GAIN FROM ALL THIS?!"

"Laughing at you," Neru said out loud. "That's what I gain." She then played one last clip.

"_DUDE! Miku-chan got us all this new game!"_

"You know Caddyshack for a while I was…" Rin began. She then cut off her sentence with an exasperated sigh and then resumed. "I was considering you a friend in all this, but not anymore. You're just one of the annoying little people, so good luck in life!"

"Oh, wow, Rin, you really changed my view on things!" Neru said sarcastically. "I'm gonna clean up my act starting today…NOT."

"_Hey Len Miku-chan got us all this new game."_

"Shut up! I haven't muted you yet, Caddyshack, because I thought you were a good person, but I'm gonna keep you unmuted and keep hoping that you shut the hell up!"

"_DUUUDE!"_

"Shut up!"

"_DUUUUUDE!"_

"Stop! I just lectured this guy for God's sake and he has no heart. I swear to God."

At that, Neru left the channel, allowing them some time to recover.

"You're going to end it like that? You didn't get them angry!" Haku said feeling confused.

"Oh but I have, Haku," Neru corrected her. "Leon is close to losing it, and Len is so angry he can't say anything. Rin is having the hardest time to cope right now and she thinks that lecturing me will solve the problem but in reality it only adds fuel to the fire. All I have to do now is wait for the right moment to come back in when she thinks her problems are over, and then we'll get a big bang out of her."

"I hope that bang isn't too big…I don't think I can handle big explosions."

"This explosion won't hurt you," Neru chuckled. "This one will make you laugh and laugh."

"I suppose so. I am actually enjoying this, kinda," Haku said laughing softly.

"See? What I tell you? I knew you would like it!"

Neru laughed back heartily as she then turned back to the screen, quickly changed her name one last time and entered the channel quietly.

"I hope that's the last we'll see of that retard for a long time," Rin said quietly.

"That kid was really annoying," Leon concurred.

"I was so ticked off I just couldn't say anything," Len added.

"Len, you _do_ care…" Neru said quietly as she got ready her sound clip.

"He better not come back in here or else we'll all kick him permanently."

"Yeah, good call," Leon said quietly. "If he does come in again I'll probably just log off for a bit and get back on a little later. I don't want to deal with that the whole night."

"I know," Rin agreed, "seriously."

Now was the time to strike.

"_Hey Len, Miku-chan got us all this new game."  
_

There then followed the exact reaction from Rin that Neru was looking for:

"FUCK YOU!"

With that, Neru was promptly kicked from the server, and she fell out of her chair laughing her head off at what had transpired as Haku only chuckled quietly not really fully understanding what she had just seen in the past fifteen minutes.

This was the start of something new. The start of something exciting.

_If it worked this well the first night, then this could be fun…_

* * *

That's it for the first chapter! I hope you all liked it and laughed as much as I did! Expect another chapter coming soon. Who will be the next victim to the mighty trolling skills of Akita Neru? Find out next time!


	2. Second Assault

**A/N: **Hey guys! I got some good response from this and it seems to be popular enough so without further waiting here is the next chapter!

Sit back, relax, and prepare to be harassed! :D

* * *

**Second Assault**

After a successful first night of harassing on Ventrilo, Neru was very eager to try again. She had brought out a special new soundboard for the second night. It was from an old cartoon show from the United States that had entertained young people for many years. There was a song from that cartoon that had special significance for many people, so she thought this might be good to use for harassment.

Her room was rife with clacking as her fingers typed furiously on the keyboard searching for a good channel to enter. The time on her clock read 8 in the evening, and many in the Vocaloid home were just settling in for a relaxing evening after a hard day at the Crypton Media recording studios.

She searched a server's channels to see who was in, and randomly picked one out of pure boredom and saw the list of names in the channel.

_Pepperlover18_

_Bottlefairy_

_Tunalover20_

It wasn't hard to guess who they really were.

She clicked her mouse and entered the channel. As she got her soundboard ready she was met by a plethora of happy greetings.

"What's up, Stimpy?" said a deep low male voice. (Stimpy was the name Neru chose to enter with)

"Hi, Akaito-kun," Neru said out loud, thanking god her microphone wasn't keyed. "I didn't know you used Ventrilo."

Akaito was the younger brother of Kaito, one of the senior Vocaloids of the family and a much more assertive man than Kaito was. Akaito was known to have an eye for Neru, but she didn't take much notice to it, but at the same time she didn't reject him completely. She disliked how Akaito could sometimes be temperamental (more sometimes than even her) and how his arrogance got in the way of his judgment (though Neru often faced such labeling as well).

"Who's this Stimpy guy?" said a slurred female voice.

"I wasn't expecting you in here, Meiko," Neru said to no one in particular. "And it sounds like you had a few before you came in here. Did you by chance buy Haku some sake to make up for the bottle you took from her last night?"

Meiko was the big sister figure for the Vocaloids just as Kaito acted like an older brother, however Meiko had a severe problem with sake, on a much worse scale than even Haku; Haku was the depressive drunk, while Meiko was the violent drunk. Whenever she got near a bottle, it was impossible to get her to stop drinking, and it would never end well if anyone got on her bad side, drunk or not.

"Hello," added a husky female voice.

"Luka," Neru greeted her, "nice to see you. I have a feeling you're going to enjoy tonight."

Luka Megurine was another member of the Vocaloid family who seemed at one moment sweet and motherly and the next moment seductive and mysterious. Most of the time however Luka was a girl anyone could like and did, who tried her best to maintain order in the Vocaloid house along with Miku, while at the same time dealing with the advances of fellow Vocaloid Kamui Gakupo.

Yep, they were exactly who Neru was expecting. The unsuspecting fools, she thought as she played the first sound clip.

"_Reeeeeeeeennnnnn…I got a surprise for you!"_

"Oh my God!" Akaito laughed, seeing immediately what that clip was foreshadowing.

"_Come out, come out, wherever you are!"_

"Umm…Ren's not here," said Luka said, not quite sure of what was going on. "I think you have the wrong vent."

"It'ssssss…not really a person, L-l-l-Luka," Meiko said in a slurred voice, giggling. She was definitely hammered.

A few moments of silence followed interspersed by Meiko's drunken giggling, though Neru was sure Meiko was just as confused as everyone else in the channel.

"What the FUCK?!" Akaito exclaimed in confusion, mixed with a small ounce of amusement.

Neru took that as an opportunity to play a new sound clip.

"_Boy, Ren, if you think you're happy now, wait till you hear this!"_

"What the hell?" Akaito asked again laughing as Meiko only kept giggling.

"_It's a record of my favorite song!"_

"I think this is the guy Len and Rin were telling me about today…" Luka piped up.

"Len told you about me?" Neru said out loud, taken by surprise. There _was_ hope for the two of them! "I feel so honored. Len talked about me!"

"_It's called: Happy Happy Joy Joy!"_

"I love this song!" exclaimed Meiko, still slurring and adding a hiccup to the end of her sentence like a P.S. at the end of a long love letter.

"Enjoy, chuckles," Neru said with a sly smirk on her face. As she then repeated a part of the clip.

"_Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy—"_

"JOY JOY!" Meiko shouted in eager anticipation.

Akaito and Luka only laughed at Meiko's enjoyment of this strange occurrence in their usual night on Ventrilo. Neru was trying hard not to laugh, seeing that Meiko could make this much more fun for her as she played the next sound clip.

"_Hello, boys and girls! This is your old pal, Stinky Whizzleteats! This is a song about a whale. NO! This is a song about being Happy!"_

"Yeah I (HIC!) figured that part out!" Meiko exclaimed. "Give us the song!"

"What if I didn't want to?" Neru asked rhetorically as she played part of the sound.

"_NO!"_

"Aww, pleeeeeeaaaassseeee?"

"_NO!"_

"But I wanna hear it!"

"_NO! NO! NO! NO!"_

"C'moooooonnnnn, don't be a dick!"

"Aww, okay," Neru relented and played the song.

"_Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy…"_

"YAY!" Meiko cried triumphantly as she started singing along to the song, messing up some chords due to her inebriated state.

Neru, Akaito and Luka could only laugh as Meiko kept singing along to the song interspersing her serenade with hiccups and giggles. Neru alone could barely control herself as she tried to stifle her laugh so Meiko and Luka could not hear it was her from the next room. She never expected this to happen, but this made it all the more fun. Meiko drunk provided an audience that could easily enjoy it, but something remained to be seen of Akaito and Luka. She would get their reactions soon enough though, she felt.

The song played its last chords as Akaito spoke.

"Hang on a second, ladies…"

"Dun, dun…" Meiko hummed expecting the song to continue.

Neru gladly obliged her and started up the song again.

"_Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy…"_

"Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy!"

"TIME TO GET SOMEONE TO KICK HIS ASS OUT!" Akaito exclaimed to the surprise of Neru.

_Not yet! The party has only just begun!_

"Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy! (HIC!)" Meiko finished as the song ended.

"Can someone kick him, please?" Luka asked in agreement with Akaito.

"Don't kick him! I (hic!) like this g-g-g-g-guy!" Meiko protested.

Neru started the song again seeing that Meiko could easily enjoy this all day long.

"_Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy…"_

"Oh my GOD!" Akaito exclaimed in frustration. Neru could easily tell he was not enjoying this now that it was going on.

"Sing along, everybody!" Meiko said, trying to encourage everyone to enjoy it.

_See? Meiko has the right idea. Too bad Akaito and Luka are being grouchy and down about it. _

Just as the song finished, Neru was kicked from the server and received a message.

_Ventrilo – Server Message_

_You have been kicked from this server because: loud music OBNOXIOUS!!!_

Neru could only laugh, since she knew it was Akaito who wrote that. He obviously needed to be happy. And there was only one person that could cheer up Akaito: her.

She quickly reentered the server and found the channel again. She quickly reentered and came in on a conversation between Akaito and Meiko, who was still laughing and humming the song to herself.

"You should have seen the look on Kaito's face when I put a red pepper in his ice cream. He never looked so hot!"

"That must not have made him (HIC!) very happy," Meiko said laughing.

"I'll show you happy," Neru said chuckling and played a sound clip.

"_I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me!"_

"But I (hic!) _did_ believe you," Meiko answered.

"_Why didn't you believe me?!"_

"I did!"

"_Why didn't you believe me?!"_

"I did!"

"_Why didn't you believe me?!"_

"I did!"

"_Why didn't you believe me?!"_

"I did!"

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouted the booming agitated voice of Akaito.

There followed a few seconds of silence in the channel as Neru burst out laughing, thanking God her microphone wasn't keyed. Neru knew she was getting to him, and she was enjoying every minute of it. Within the next five seconds, Neru was booted again from the server and received another message.

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: Fuck off!_

Neru laughed again, thoroughly enjoying this. Akaito seemed very irritable tonight, and thus made a prime target. This could be a very fun night indeed.

She promptly came back into the channel as quickly as she was kicked.

"He's back in again," Luka observed forlornly, seeing what was in store for them.

"_It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!"_

"Not again!" Akaito groaned as Meiko only cheered at Neru's return.

"Yay he's back!"

"I can't leave you without a song," Neru said as she keyed her microphone and played the song again.

"_Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy…"_

"Jesus Christ, this guy gets annoying…" Akaito grumbled into the microphone in frustration.

"I don't find him annoying one bit!" Meiko said laughing and slurring with a mix of hiccups as the song reached its end.

Neru thought that she could reach out to Akaito as she played another sound clip.

"_I'll TEACH you to be happy!"_

"I DON'T WANNA BE HAPPY!"

"_WHAT?!"_

"Are you done yet?"

Neru laughed at the seemingly stupid question and said while her microphone was not keyed,

"I'm just getting started."

She then played one more clip followed by the song with a louder volume.

"_I told you I'd shoot!"_

"For God's sake, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"_HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY…"_

"Seriously, cut it out. I'm trying to fix my computer."

"_I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me!"_

"Okay, whoever the fuck that is," Akaito said with more anger in his voice, "you're really starting to piss me off. Stop."

_Then I guess we'll just have to make you happy._

"_Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy…"_

"Please, please, please stop," Akaito said in a kind of plea. The anger had receded in his voice and had given way to exasperation. "I cannot be the only person who finds that 'Happy Happy Joy Joy' music thing fucking annoying."

"It's nnnnnnnot a music thing," Meiko corrected him. Neru concurred with her and played another clip.

"_It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!"_

"Yeah! (HIC!) It's that!"

"Okay, what the heck?" Luka interjected, thoroughly confused by everything that had happened.

"Did you mute him?" Akaito asked. "I did."

"Yeah. Who the heck is it?"

"I dunno, but he's pissing me the fuck off."

Neru quickly changed her name so she could come unmuted. Luka then spoke up, more confused than before.

"Now his name is 'tunalover20'…like mine but I'm not doing that. I don't know what the heck this is…"

"He's been (HIC!) playing it so many times!" Meiko said laughing and hiccupping at the same time.

"_It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!"_

Neru then heard Luka's husky female voice speak with command and great presence.

"SHUT. UP."

"Seriously," Akaito said again, concurring with Luka, "cut it out."

_I'm not leaving until you're all happy!_

With that Neru played the song at a much louder volume than ever before.

"_HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY…"_

"I think I'm gonna have to hunt someone down and kill someone."

"But then I'll have nothing to (hic!) ssssssing to w-w-w-w-when I get on Vvvvvent!" Meiko complained.

"Meiko," Luka offered, trying to give advice, "I think you really need to go to bed to sober up."

"No way, sister!" Meiko insisted, laughing. "I'm sssssstayin' in here till you all (HIC!) sing along with me!!!!"

"Meiko has the right idea, guys," Neru said quietly, while her microphone wasn't keyed. "You should really listen to her."

"No fucking way!" Akaito refused vehemently. "No way am I singing that dumbass gay song!"

"I'm too tired to sing," Luka said.

"Then we'll mmmmmake you sing!" Meiko said laughing. Neru backed her up with another clip

"_I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!"_

"All together everybody!"

Neru played the song again but once more, only Meiko sang along to the lyrics as Neru heard the frustrated sighs of Akaito and Luka as the song continued. Neru decided that her harassment would only be complete if Akaito and Luka would sing along. If not, she would keep haranguing them until they got fed up and left the server.

"Why the heck is he doing this?" Luka asked, not enjoying this at all. "To torment us?"

"He w-w-w-wants you all to b-b-b-b-be ha-(HIC!)-happy!" Meiko insisted laughing, having the time of her life. Neru was glad at least one person was enjoying this.

"PLAY THAT SONG ONE MORE TIME!" Akaito dared her, now very much at the end of his rope and close to losing his temper. "I SWEAR TO GOD I'm going to grab your IP address, use it to MapQuest whoever the fuck you are and I will hunt you down and KILL YOU!"

"Akaito," Neru said while her microphone wasn't keyed as she readied another sound clip, "you may be cooler than Kaito in every way, but you really suck at making threats, and that was your lamest one yet."

"_I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll TEACH you to be happy!"_

"We all know you're gay and you want to come out of the closet, but PLEASE! Give it a rest."

Neru's brow furrowed. This time, Akaito went way too far.

"That was a very poor choice of words, Akaito-kun. Now, it's personal. You're _not_ leaving this vent before I get you to sing this song!"

"_I don't think you're happy enough!"_

"Keep it up! Keep it up, Chuckles!"

"_I'll TEACH you to be happy!"_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up…" repeated Luka in a desperate attempt to get Neru to leave.

Neru then took the song and turned the volume up to the highest level, and played it for everyone to hear.

"_**HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY**__…"_

"Shut the hell up," Luka commanded. "Before I get even MADDER!"

"_**HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY**__…"_

"I feel like cussing at you, but I'm too tired for it, so I won't."

_I'm sure you would have been fantastic at it…NOT._

"I really love this song," Meiko said chuckling.

"Why the FUCK do you like this song?!" Akaito confronted her, fed up entirely with Meiko being so carefree and easygoing about this song that was greatly annoying him to no end. "I swear!"

"It's Ren and Stimpy, man!" Meiko said laughing.

"I've never even _seen_ that fucking dumbass show! Why the FUCK would I waste my time watching a show about a fucking cat and a fucking Chihuahua?!"

Neru was getting bored of this. She ahd been at them now for more than half an hour and Akaito and Luka were nowhere near breaking, and it was getting late. So she decided she would end this harassment here by giving them all one last send off.

"_I'LL TEACH YOU TO BE HAPPY!"_

"Oh yeah? Really?" Akaito said skeptically.

"_I'LL TEACH YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO SUCK EGGS!"_

"And I'll teach your mom to suck my balls if you don't SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"_HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!"_

"HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY (HIC!) HAPPY!"

"_HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY JOYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"_

"YOU HAVE BEEN **BANNED**, MOTHERFUCKER!" Akaito shouted in triumph, loud enough for Neur to hear him from outside her room. "ENJOY IT, YOU NO-LIFER SON OF A BITCH!!"

And with that, Neru was kicked permanently from the server. She was less successful here than she was the first time, but she considered this at least a marginal victory since she got Meiko to sing along with her. Next time she encountered Akaito however, he would not be so lucky. That day would come some day.

Oh yes.

Some day.

* * *

A/N: awww, poor Neru. :( She didn't get Akaito and Luka to sing. At least Meiko had some sense of humor. XD Next time Akaito catches her, he might not be so fortunate. When will our favorite tsundere harass vents next? And who will be her next victim! Find out next time, and until then, read and review! ^_^


	3. Third Assault

**Third Assault**

One would think that after the marginally successful harassment, one would think that such a girl as Neru would have given up on it the day afterwards. But Neru was determined to continue, since trolling was something she knew she could do well, and harassing people on Ventrilo was the best and newest way for her to do just that.

The clock in her room read 9:30 in the evening, another end to a busy day for the Vocaloids at Crypton Media studios. Neru was in the right mood for some harassing this night, since her boss at the writing agency she had a part-time job in was not being the nicest guy in the world this week. She needed to relieve her stress some way, and what better way than to take it out on some unsuspecting people in Ventrilo.

Neru had just come back into her room with a soda from the kitchen downstairs, and was sitting at her computer as usual, searching Ventrilo for some good servers to harass. She knew that if a Vocaloid was on any of them, they were prime targets, having just gotten off of work and hoping to relax of Ventrilo.

Sure enough, she came across a channel with two usernames that immediately gave a clue to who they really were.

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

Neru chuckled sinisterly as she entered the channel, and entered a conversation between two familiar voices.

"Ugh," groaned a young girl's voice in apparent frustration, "I wish the cafeteria would serve us more oranges. I never seem to get enough every time I go in there. It's like they're intentionally holding out on me."

"I can't say I blame them," replied an adolescent male's voice sullenly. "Knowing you, you'd eat all the oranges in a flash."

"You're one to talk, Len-kun. You would eat every banana that ever existed if given the chance!"

Neru's chuckling gave way to a maniacal giggling as her suspicions of just who was in the channel had been confirmed, much to her delight.

"Well, if it isn't Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum. Boy, do I have a surprise for you two…"

With that, she readied a soundboard to be played. It was from a man on the Internet who often gave reviews to computer products, and had spawned a cult following in his wake. She waited for a good moment to strike, but as Rin and Len continued their idle chat, Neru quickly got bored and decided to just go in full force before she lost the willpower to harass.

"_Hello again, I'm Rodney Reynolds, and welcome to another video review."_

There followed a few seconds of silence as the twins tried to figure out what had just happened. Neru waited patiently, knowing they would respond soon, and sure enough, Rin was the first to respond.

"Umm…hi?"

Now that Neru had the ball rolling she pulled out another sound clip.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"Yes it is."

Neru was expecting that from a smart-aleck girl like Rin. She only chuckled.

"My friend Rodney Reynolds begs to differ," Neru said slyly as she keyed her microphone and repeated the clip.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"Yes it IS," Rin countered, slightly more agitated than before.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"YES. IT. IS!!!" Rin retorted, thoroughly aggravated now.

Neru gave her a few seconds to calm down before she played the clip again, trying to get Rin to see Rodney Reynolds' point of view.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"Shut up," Rin grumbled into her microphone.

"What are you doing?" Len asked in confusion.

"Who the heck is that?" Rin asked, frustrated and ignoring Len's question. "'Rodney Reynolds'? I'll…I'll hurt you!"

"Ooh, you really scared me," Neru said sarcastically while her microphone wasn't keyed. "NOT."

"I'm gonna roadroll you."

"That's what you said to me last time we met, and yet you haven't done it…hmm…"

"Who are you?"

"Like I'd tell you."

With that Neru played another clip.

"_Hello again, I'm Rodney Reynolds, and welcome to another video review. Today I'm looking at the Western Digital Raptor X 150 gigabyte hard drive."_

"Okay, that's nice. Now go away."

"_Raptor X 150 gigabyte hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive."_

"I don't care about your hard drive!" Rin protested, not enjoying this at all. "Go shove it up your A-S-S, you stupid B-A-K-A. So shut up."

"Here's what I have to say to that," Neru replied while her microphone wasn't keyed again.

She quickly opened up a Text-to-speech program and made it say her witty reply to Rin's dismissal:

"_F-U-C-K Y-O-U."_

"F-U-C-K Y-O-U," Rin spelled out in retort, "Y-O-U B-A-K-A A-S-S-H-O-L-E."

"L-E-A-R-N T-O S-P-E-L-L," Len then put in, chuckling at the use of spelling to get the message across.

Neru was undeterred, and promptly played a new sound clip.

"_Again, my name is Rodney Reynolds. This has been another video review! Until next time, take care."_

"I don't CARE!" Rin snapped angrily. "Who _is_ this guy?! He's retarded!"

"_Today I'm looking at the Western Digital Raptor X 150 gigabyte hard drive."_

"Shuuuut…Uuuuuup. So annoying…"

"_Hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive hard drive…"_

"I…donnnnn't carrrre aaaat allllll…"

Neru only laughed at Rin's attempts to get her to leave. If Rin was to get her to go away, she would have to do much more than just express her disinterest.

"Got a retard on vent again," Rin sighed in exasperation.

Neru could easily tell that she was not in the mood for harassment, which made it all the more fun.

"How much do you want to bet it's that guy who annoyed us two nights ago?" Len suggested, thinking (correctly) that the person causing them woe was connected to their problem child of the night before last.

"I'll bet you a date with me, Len-chan," Neru said with stars in her eyes, knowing he was right.

"I'll bet you 500 yen," Rin called on Len's bet.

"Aww, screw you, that's lame," Neru came back at her while her microphone wasn't keyed, readying another sound clip. "Just for that…"

"_Again, my name is Rodney Reynolds. This has been another video review! Until next time, take care."_

"I'm muting you right now," Rin said resignedly, "so go bother someone else."

"Oh, but I can't leave my Lenny," Neru said as she exited the channel. "Besides, I haven't had enough fun with _you_ yet!"

Neru quickly changed her username and entered the channel once more, and promptly played a sound clip out of spite for Rin.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"What the heck?! I muted you!" Rin cried out in frustration and confusion.

"That's what you thought," Neru corrected her while her microphone wasn't keyed and then repeated a part of the sound clip.

"_Designing a hard drive designing a hard drive designing a hard drive…"_

"The guy's retarded," Rin complained. "I just muted him again."

"Damn you, Rin…"

Neru promptly exited the channel, thoroughly annoyed at Rin's quick response. However she was not going to give up easily on her. She changed her name once again and reentered the channel.

"He came back in again," Len observed in a deadpan tone.

"_Designing a hard drive with a window is not as easy as you might think."_

"Every frickin' time he comes in," Rin declared as if proclaiming a new law, "I'm just gonna mute him, mute him, mute him! Because I don't have to care about designing a hard drive at all."

Neru laughed. What really made that comment funny was that if Rin really didn't care as much as she said she didn't, she would not be nearly as angry with Neru. The reason she was as angry as she sounded was because she was letting all of this get to her, when she could easily ignore it which would rob Neru of a reason to be there: to annoy the hell out of her. Neru however was content to just listen to the idle chat as she quickly changed her name to make a comeback.

"So, Len, now that we have that weirdo out of our hair, what do you want to do?" Rin asked.

"Umm…I dunno," Len asked, thoroughly confused by all that had transpired within the past five minutes.

"Did you mute him? I did; he's annoying."

"He's not talking anymore."

"Because I _muted_ him."

"I didn't mute him…"

At that last comment Neru's spirits picked up. If Len was kind enough to not mute her, then perhaps there was still hope for them. Perhaps he _did_ secretly have a liking for her.

_Len, you do care!_

"He's a jerk," Rin complained.

"Oh, you're _asking_ for it now, bitch," Neru said as she readied a sound clip.

"_Hello again, I'm Rodney Reynolds and welcome to another video review! Today I'm looking at the Western Digital Raptor X 150 gigabyte hard drive."_

"Dammit, he's back! Is he using his real voice or the computer's voice?"

"I want to listen to his video review!" Len protested, standing up to Rin's complaining and surprising Neru.

"Len, you _do_ love me!" Neru said with delight in her voice.

"Okay, fine!" Rin said giving up in frustration. "Just give us your dumb video review!"

"Oh you're going to love what he has to say about it…" Neru said chuckling sinisterly, foreshadowing that which was to come.

She prepared a sound clip that would top everything off.

"_Overall, this is a kickass product!"_

There followed a few moments of silence as the twins sat in disbelief, stupefied at what had just happened as Neru only laughed. Soon however, she heard Len chuckling quietly not expecting such a concise and blunt review of the product so advertised in the harassment. Rin however was not amused in the least.

"Is that it?"

"Oh no!" Neru said laughing, thanking God once again that her microphone wasn't keyed. "I'm just getting started!"

And with that she played a new clip.

"_Kickass wicked! Kickass wicked! Kickass wicked! Kickass—"_

"Oh, by the way," Rin interjected as Neru cued a pop song to be played while she continued to play sound clips, "my name is Rin Kagamine, and I live in Sapporo, Hokkaido. So if you want to come be a pedophile to me, come molest my house. I work for Crypton Media, and they have lawyers, you can find us the phonebook…yeah, see ya."

Rin made a really stupid move right then. Neru thought she was offering herself up as a sacrificial lamb for any other person who might have come in to harass them. Rin was lucky it was Neru because anyone else would have taken the information to track her down, or infect her computer or even worse. Neru thought however she could do something with the information Rin just gave her that was much more productive.

"Congratulations, Rin," Neru said feigning of laudatory pride. "You just gave me some more ammunition."

"Len, switch channels," Rin grumbled in a frustrated tone.

"To what? Six?"

Okay, now _Len_ made a stupid move. By publicly announcing which channel to switch to, Neru now knew where she could go to follow them. It was not that hard for someone spammer or otherwise to find a channel to harass but if a person publicly says to what channel he or she was switching, that's the same as giving a spammer a card inviting him or her to harass that person in the next channel.

"Len-chan," Neru said with a slight note of pity, "I love you, but that was _really _dumb what you just said."

Len and Rin promptly left the channel into the next one, to which Neru promptly entered, this time under a different name. Neru did not want them to know it was her again, and wanted them to think they had gotten rid of her, so she took about ten minutes to let them continue their chat while she got the recordings of Rin ready to use.

"If that kid comes in again," Rin said, "I swear to God I'm going to find him."

"If you COULD find me, Rin," Neru said as she readied her new clips, "you'd be SO sorry."

With that, she played her new clips.

"_My name is Rin Kagamine, and I live in Sapporo, Hokkaido. Come molest my house."_

"Oh my God!" Len exclaimed laughing at what was happening. Their tormentor had found them once again!

"Who are you, three?" Rin demanded. "Who are you, and why did you do that?!"

"_My name is Rin Kagamine, and I live in Sapporo, Hokkaido…"_

"Stop it! It's annoying!"

"_If you want to come be a pedophile to me, come molest my house. I work for Crypton Media, and they have lawyers, you can find us the phonebook…yeah, see ya."_

"He put it on there?!" Len asked, amused and thoroughly enjoying this.

"Yeah, and it's annoying!" Rin complained. "And I went to the link on that guy's name and it showed up with my profile, and it's stupid! I don't know who this kid is, but he's kinda…stupid and it's annoying me that he took that."

"Sis, you could get in serious trouble for that," Len said with a forewarning tone.

"No I can't," Rin said, sloughing off his warning. "I didn't s—I didn't—I'm not the one putting it on wiki. He's the one that's gonna get in trouble. Some policemen will probably backdoor-hack him."

"Rin," Neru said while her microphone wasn't keyed, "you're lucky you're getting harassed by me. You best be thankful that I don't use the information I already have against you."

"I hope Leon does something about it when he gets on," Rin continued, "because…the kid's a punk, and he's getting really annoying."

"Leon at the most will just cuss him out," Len said, knowing that Leon was not the type to do anything more to an annoying spammer besides that.

"I hope he does something more. At least get the IP and beat the hell out of him."

"Does Leon know how to hack?"

Neru decided now would be a good time to let them alone for a while. She quickly exited the channel and waited for them to be lulled back into a sense of security while she went downstairs to get some more soda after expending the last bit in her current soda can.

She traveled down the flight of stairs that served as the bridge between the upper and lower levels of the house and went into the kitchen to find Meiko, rummaging through the refrigerator, humming a song that sounded familiar to her. Most likely Meiko was looking for a bottle of sake that she had already drunk.

Neru stood behind her like a customer waiting in line as Meiko kept searching for the sake bottle Neru knew she was looking for. Eventually after a time of cluttering and clinking, Meiko closed the door and sighed frustrated, with no sake to be found in the house.

"Drink the last one again?" Neru asked.

Meiko turned around and saw Neru standing beween the counter and the stairway.

"Oh, hi, Neru. It looks I did. I wonder if the liquor store is still open at this hour…"

Meiko looked up at a clock hanging on the wall and saw that it was about five minutes past 10 in the evening.

"If there is, it's not a good time to go out," Neru observed. "Most likely there will be some thug who would like nothing better than for some unsuspecting personage to waltz on down and ask to be robbed."

"Probably right," Meiko acknowledged unhappily. "Well it's late anyway, so I should head to bed in any event."

Meiko passed by Neru, but as she did Neru heard her humming that song again, which only sparked her curiosity as to what in the world that tune was. It sounded familiar to her. It couldn't be that it was from…

"Say, Meiko, what's that song your singing?"

"Oh," Meiko laughed, turning around to face her, "funny story about that. Last night when I was talking with Akaito and Luka online someone came in and started playing this song from Ren and Stimpy. Called 'Happy Happy Joy Joy.' I had a few too many again that night and I didn't really know what else to do, so I just sang along."

They both laughed and Neru was guffawing on the inside, knowing that she was referring to the fun time in ventrilo last night. She was happy that at least Meiko enjoyed the song, while Akaito and Luka were such sourpusses.

"What did Akaito and Luka do?" Neru asked.

She knew already what they did, but it would not be so bad as to hear the perspective of the harassed on the harassment.

"Well both of them were not happy about it," Meiko went on, laughing at the thought. "But Akaito especially was ballistic. I kept telling him that all he needed to do was sing the song and the guy would go away but he just kept being an ass about it."

She then imitated his angry agitated tone:

"'That song is gay!'"

Both of them laughed as Meiko headed on up the stairs continuing.

"You know, it would not be so bad, if Akaito would just loosen up a bit. He would have enjoyed it but he just is so obsessed with being cooler than Kaito."

"Sounds like he could use a sense of humor," Neru said chuckling.

"Yeah, but what can you do. People are the way they are, I guess."

"Not all," Neru said. "It may take some time but changing a person is easy as taking your first step."

"Are you saying you'll give him a sense of humor?"

"If I have to," Neru said nonchalantly.

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Sore wa himitsu," Neru said winking. (A/N: Japanese for "that's a secret.")

Meiko only chuckled and nodded and for a moment they both understood what had happened that night, and what had come to light. Some people could handle jokes. Others could not. But it was not hard for someone to change, and before the next change of seasons rolled around, chances are that someone would be a different person from before. All because someone had shown that person the way.

"Have a good night, Neru-chan."

"You too, Meiko-san."

With that, Meiko went up the stairs to her room as Neru then turned and got out the last soda in the refrigerator before she took her leave and headed back up the stairs to her room to finish up what she had started thirty minutes beforehand.

She sat down and listened in to the conversation that was still going on between Len and Rin.

"That Kaito's a baka," Rin commented.

"What else is new?" Neru asked rhetorically as she opened the soda can.

"I'm gonna kick that guy's butt," Rin continued.

"When have I heard that before?"

"I bet you Akaito could one-two-punch Kaito and he'd die."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"We could kick his butt."

"You've proven that before."

"I was gonna kick his butt last week because he kept taking all the ice cream samples at the culture festival."

"Oh really?" Neru said, taken by this new revelation. "You haven't kicked his butt yet? You surprise me, Rin. Now, where did you say he was taking the samples?"

In an answer to her own question, Neru played a clip from the newly recorded conversation.

"_Culture festival. Culture festival. Culture festival."_

"It's not me!" Rin protested, spelling out any thoughts in Len before they even germinated.

"It's him again…" Len remarked forlornly.

"_COME MOLEST MY HOUSE!"_

"It's that Rodney whatever the hell his name is!" Rin called out, trying to find a way to get rid of their problem child. "It's that retard that does the wiki stuff. Oh my God…"

"_I bet you Akaito could one-two-punch Kaito and he'd die."_

"Yeah, he would," Len said laughing. At least _he_ was enjoying this.

But quickly after Len's comment, Rin came on the microphone and spoke in a thoroughly agitated tone, close to breaking

"Go. Away. You stupid baka."

"_Hello again, I'm Rodney Reynolds and welcome to another video review! We could kick his butt. I was gonna kick his butt last week—"_

It was then that Rin's mind snapped, and she yelled out exactly the response Neru was looking for.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Neru laughed heartily and uncontrollably as Len and Rin promptly left the channel and moved into another one while Neru was not looking, or unable to look because of the tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. Once again, she succeeded in her objective, and once again, brought Rin past the point of endurance and past the line of rage to hilarious proportions.

Another successful harassment completed.

* * *

A/N: Mission accomplished! Harassment success!

Special thanks to: Rodney Reynolds, and most importantly Rin Kagamine, from Sapporo Hokkaido. She works in Crypton Media and they have lawyers. GO MOLEST HER HOUSE! XD

Thanks for all your reviews and support guys! Keep fueling me and I'll keep coming out with more harassments! Who will be the next victim to Neru's l33t trolling skills? Find out in the next installment of _Fun With Ventrilo_!


	4. Fourth Assault: Christmas Edition

A/N: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and in the Vocaloid house,

Not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse.

Well actually that's a lie. You see, there was one.

She was well awake, and before this night was done,

She would harass the others' Ventrilos, to badger and annoy,

And by Vent Harassment, she brings us great joy!

* * *

**Fourth Assault: Christmas Edition**

Most in the Vocaloid house were set for a relaxing night after a day of festivities at Crypton Media to celebrate Christmas. Though some were exhausted and had quickly settled for a good winter's nap before Christmas Day, others had chosen to stay up a little longer and talk.

In one room in the Vocaloid house, a girl with long blonde hair in a side ponytail was preparing for yet another night of Ventrilo harassment. However, with it being Christmas Eve, Neru was up for making this harassment festive in spirit and mood. She had specially prepared soundboards and songs for the occasion. She was intent of making this Christmas Eve especially fun for any Vocaloid who happened to be on…

She was dressed festively for the occasion too, decked out in a red and white version of her usual yellow outfit in the spirit of the Yuletide season. On a coaster to the left of her laptop sat a cup of steaming hot chocolate in place of her usual soda she was armed with on nights of harassment. The hot chocolate had been distributed after a Christmas party at the Crypton Media studios. She only hoped that she would not spill it over her keyboard tonight. For some reason she had a feeling that tonight especially would be entertaining.

She scrolled down a list of channels to see who was in and spied one in particular that had a few people that stood out to her.

_IcecreamFTW20_

_Leekfreak16_

Like all the other names she had encountered in three days, she knew exactly who they were before she entered the channel.

"Yeah, the twins jumped me before I came back. Apparently they said it's for stealing the samples from last week's culture festival," said the kind and slightly clueless deep voice of Kaito.

Kaito was another one of the senior members of the Vocaloid family, and the "Big Brother" figure. However, he wasn't really the best role model to follow; he was easy to tease and was the object of Meiko's drunk (or sober) lashings and the Kagamine twins' torture. He was a guaranteed dead man if he was caught with Meiko and her sake and the Kagamines and their roadroller. He was a gentle and easy-going fellow, a person anyone could easily like despite his gullible nature and his inhumanly obsession with ice cream.

"So Rin decided to kick your butt after all," Neru said chuckling.

"Well it _is_ deserved, Kaito-kun," said the cheerful voice of Miku. "You even took the leek ice cream that I was going to have."

"Doesn't surprise me at all you would eat that, leek freak," Neru said matter-of-factly.

Miku was the most popular Vocaloid and was the poster child of Crypton Media. Her popularity earned Neru's enmity and sometimes outright rivalry, though it was not on nearly the same level as Neru's animosity towards Rin Kagamine. Besides being the world's newest diva with a fantastic voice that was admired the world over, she was an ordinary girl who tried to be kind to everyone, and tried to be the anchor for the rocky boat that was their household.

"But it looked so good…" Kaito said trying to make an excuse.

"Have a taste of this," Neru said as she keyed her microphone and played a loud clip, containing a rock version of a classic Yuletide carol.

"_O COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL…"_

"OW!" Miku exclaimed in surprise and pain.

"WHOA! That's loud!" Kaito followed in concurrence.

"_O COME YE, O COME YE TO BETHLEHEM!"_

"Whoever that is, turn your volume down!" Miku struggled to say, trying to get their unknown tormentor to stop.

"Please stop!" Kaito pleaded, obviously not enjoying this. "My poor ears!"

"Where's your Christmas spirit, Kaito?" Neru asked, surprised that Kaito of all people would not be singing along as the song continued.

"_O COME LET US ADORE HIM, O COME LET US ADORE HIM…"_

"I'm about to mute someone…" Miku said with a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"Who's doing it?! I can't find out!" Kaito said thoroughly confused and obviously not in the best of moods.

"It's someone named Caroler18!" Miku said trying to get her message through over the loud music.

"I can't hear you!"

"Caroler18!"

"WHAT?"

"CAROLER18!"

"Okay, he's muted now. What were you saying?"

"I was just saying the guy's name was caroler18."

"Oh…"

Neru sighed, seeing that her harassment on them wasn't working so well. She was sure that Kaito would have sung along to the song being the easygoing care-free Vocaloid that he was. Miku would have enjoyed it too, since she was someone who loved to sing as much as any Vocaloid if not more.

"That was nuts," Miku said sighing with relief.

"Yeah it was," Kaito said in agreement.

"Why are you guys such Scrooges?" Neru said sitting back into her chair sulking at her failure. "Sheesh…"

"Whoever that was," Kaito started, "I like carols as much as the next guy, but if you want to play that at least play it at a lower volume."

Neru quickly exited the channel changed her name and went back in, seeing an easy to tease Kaito as a perfect target.

"_SING, CHOIRS OF ANGELS, SING IN EXULTATION…"_

"OW! JESUS CHRIST!" Miku exclaimed, obviously not ready to deal with this.

"C'mon, seriously!" Kaito protested, really not up for going against a spammer.

"Get the f—"

Before Miku could finish her curse, Neru was promptly kicked and received the message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: Music FAR TOO LOUD!_

Neru only chuckled, seeing that Miku was quick to take action when the situation called for it. She would make a good opponent this night, as Neru quickly entered the server again and found their channel. She immediately kicked up the music once more.

"_GLORY TO GOD, GLORY IN THE HIGHEST…"_

"What the heck!" Miku said in a half-laugh, half-sigh.

"Okay," Kaito said exasperatedly, "That is really pissing—"

"Suck it down Kaito!" Neru commanded as she started the song again.

"_O COME LET US ADORE HIM , O COME LET US ADORE HIM, O COME LET US ADORE HIM, CHRIST THE LORD!"_

"I'm gonna take a quick break and get some more ice cream," Kaito said sighing. "I hope this guy leaves."

"If all else fails," Miku said in an exhausted tone in her voice, "we'll just go on Skype. It's not a big deal."

"Okay, if this guy's still here that's what we'll do. I'll be right back."

Neru was promptly kicked once again, but received no message to inform her of any special reason. She was content to wait a couple minutes, sipping her hot chocolate as Kaito quickly traveled down the stairs and grabbed some Haagen-Dazs ice cream from out of the freezer. Neru was actually happy that she was getting such a good reaction out of both of them. Miku seemed to be the voice of reason in this server while Kaito provided a good target being the gullible and easily teased man that he was. He could be good fodder for any future harassments.

After about five minutes she quickly changed her name and quietly entered the channel while no one took notice and waited for Kaito to return. She didn't have to wait long.

"Okay, I'm back. Is the guy gone?"

"I kicked him five minutes ago and he hasn't come back, so I think he's gone."

"Think again," Neru said smirking as she cued the song once more.

"_YEA, LORD, WE GREET THEE…"_

"You gotta be kidding me!" Kaito exclaimed in disbelief.

"You want to hear the best part?" Miku asked, with a note of sarcasm.

"What?"

"Apparently whoever this is definitely screwed with the server because I can't even ban him now."

"Damn, I'm good," Neru chuckled in triumph, as she spammed the song once again until the final stanza was completed.

"I guess it's something you become used to after a while…" Kaito sighed in despair, seeing that there was no way he could win this.

"Just move to Skype and we won't have to deal with this," Miku said trying to be reasonable.

"Fair enough. I'll see you in Skype."

And with that, the server was evacuated and Neru was left alone, chuckling to herself. Too bad; she would have liked to stay with them a little longer. No matter, however. There were plenty of other servers out there. She jumped onto another server and searched the channels to find another unsuspecting group of people to harass. Sure enough, in the sixth channel she spied three familiar names.

_Vocalthe1st_

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

Neru smirked slyly and with a note of mischief, rejoicing that she had found her favorite people to harass. She was sure they would get a kick out of the songs as she entered the channel and immediately keyed her microphone, playing a song from a Christmas special of a favorite children's show in America.

"_It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday, not your normal average everyday…"_

She heard the laughter of Len immediately which brought a smile to Neru's face. If there was one thing she could count on every night she got on Ventrilo, it was the fact that Len would always get a kick out of whatever joys she had to bring to his channel.

"Who the heck is that?" Len asked laughing while the others sat in confusion.

"_This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me! La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la,_ _la la la la la la la la,_ _la la la la la la la la…"_

"Faggots," grumbled the deep voice of Leon.

"Don't be a Grinch, Leon," Neru said, crossing her arms frustrated at Leon's lack of Christmas spirit this night.

"Okay, I gotta mute me some more fuckers, so, fuck. Fuckin' retards…"

"That makes three spammers for our channel," Len remarked chuckling. "That has to be a record."

"Did you mute him?"

"No, he's not playing it anymore."

On that note, Neru changed her name thereby undoing the mute, and played her song again as if on cue.

"_It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday, not your normal average everyday…"_

"What a baka!" Rin complained. "Why the fuck…? Fuckin'…shit-fuck…"

"That kind of talk won't get you any presents under _your_ tree, Rin," Neru remarked. "Santa's still watching, you know…"

"Be a lesbian somewhere else," Leon commanded, obviously not in the mood for harassment. "By the way, I can't hear you; I muted you."

"And you've earned a place in the naughty list, Leon," Neru said frowning, "if that is how you are going to talk on Christmas Eve."

"C'mon, guys! He's just trying to be festive!" Len said protesting against sense of gloom in the channel.

"See? Len has the right idea," Neru remarked chuckling in happiness to see that at least Len had some Christmas spirit.

"It wouldn't bother me so much if he did it at a lower volume…" Rin complained. "Or at least choose a different song."  
"Maybe if I feel like it I'll play one when I come back for you later tonight…" Neru said as she exited the channel.

Well, that didn't go too well. Perhaps it was because it was still rather early in the evening, or perhaps she just wasn't playing the right songs. Leon alone was quick to respond in muting her, and there was less a note of confusion and want to engage and more a feeling of intolerance. It was not hard to understand in Rin's case, however, making this the third harassment for them. No matter; she could always come back to Rin and Len later and stir up some better responses. She jumped onto yet another server and in the first channel found some old friends she had visited a night or so ago…

_Pepperlover18_

_Bottlefairy_

"Well, well. If it isn't grumpy Akaito and sake-lover. Let's see what fun we can have with you two…"

She promptly entered the channel and listened in on a conversation between Akaito and Meiko.

"I hope to God you didn't drink the last eggnog, Meiko-san."

"You're (HIC!) not old enough anyway, so why would you care?"

"Oh, drinking eggnog?" Neru said with surprise. "I always thought you'd stick with sake. This should be fun."

"I would have liked to try some at some point in life," Akaito said sullenly.

"There's alllllllways (HIC!) next year!"

"And next year you'll probably drink it all before anyone else gets their hands on it…"

"Yeah, prolly. (HIC!)"

Neru took that as her cue to play a new song, volume at its highest, and again a rock version of a classic carol.

"_DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!"_

Meiko immediately laughed as the first stanza of the song continued. Once again, just like last time, a drunken Meiko proved to be an audience that could easily enjoy this sort of thing happening on Ventrilo.

"What…the…fuck…was…that?" Akaito breathed, obviously agitated after having experienced one night of harassment.

"It'ssssss a Christmas (HIC!) carol, silly!" Meiko said laughing.

"I'm not in the mood for another spammer tonight…"

"That much I can tell," Neru observed, obviously put off by Akaito's lack of spirit. "I guess we'll have to make you sing again…"

"_DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL, __FA LA LA, LA LA LA, LA LA LA!"_

"Dude, fuckin' stop."

Before Neru could even key the next verse, Meiko finished the song for her.

"Troll the ancient Yuletide carol, Fa la la la, (HIC!) la la la la!"

"So obnoxious…"

"Where's your (hic!) cccccchristmas spirit, Ak-k-k-k-kaito?" Meiko asked laughing.

"I have more Christmas spirit in one finger than you have in your whole body! I'm just not in the mood for singing carols after all the singing we did today! I'm sick enough with 'Twelve Days of Christmas' without having to deal with 'Deck the Halls!'"

"Oh, so you don't like Twelve days of Christmas?" Neru said, sparked by this revelation. "Then in that case…"

Neru quickly pulled out a new song and promptly played it.

"_On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A partridge in a pear tree!"_

"God…DAMMIT!" Akaito screamed in exasperation, obviously not wanting to hear a song that he would rather bury.

"_On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree!"_

"Just when I fix my computer, sons of bitches are fucking—"'

"_On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me—"_

"Three French hens, (HIC!) two turtledoves, (HIC!) and a partridge in a pear tree!"

"Don't fucking encourage him!" Akaito pleaded, obviously tired and not in the mood for the song to be played again after having to sing it.

"_On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree!"_

"Stop!" Akaito cried in desperation. "Jesus Christ!"

"_On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me—"_

"FIVE (HIC!) GOLD RIIIIIINGS!"

At that, Neru almost spat out her hot chocolate all over the keyboard, she laughed so hard. With Meiko's enthusiasm, she could easily annoy Akaito with Meiko interspersing her great rendition of the five gold rings. At least Meiko had some sense of humor.

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!"_

"I'm about to kick you out of the server if you don't quit it," Akaito said in-between gritted teeth, the anger seething in him now. "So I'd stop if I were you."

"But you're not me," Neru retorted while her microphone wasn't keyed, "which sucks for you."

"_On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six geese a' laying…"_

"FIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOLLLLLLLD RIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGSSSS!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!"_

And with that, Neru was kicked from the server, and received the message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: twelve days FUCKING ANNOYING!_

Neru laughed, seeing this song as a prime way to get Akaito to go ballistic, just like last night. Besides, she couldn't leave MEiko with an unfinished song.

She quickly changed her name and reentered the server, promptly earning the gleeful greeting of a drunken Meiko.

"YAY! He's (HIC!) b-b-b-b-back!"

"Now let's finish that song, shall we?" Neru asked chuckling as she cued the song again.

"_On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_

"FIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOLLLLLLLD (HIC!) RIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGSSSS!"

"I kicked you! What the fuck, man?!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree!"_

"Get the FUCK out of here, dude! I don't care WHO you are!"

"But I can't leave you without finishing the song…" Neru said as she played the next verse.

"_On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eight maids a' milking, seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_

"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOLLLDDD RIIIIIIIINNNGGGSSS!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree!"_

"Dude, I'm tired of this fucking bullshit from you, dude," Akaito said, the anger in his voice receding and giving way to a general sense of exhaustion and frustration. "Leave. Fucking. Vent. No one likes you, no one cares that you're here, FUCK OFF."

"I c-c-c—c-c-care that he's (hic!) here!" Meiko protested.

"That's only because you're too drunk to get annoyed," Akaito retorted.

"Yeah, I'm ddddddrunk but it'sssss still funny!"

"_On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: nine ladies dancing, eight maids a' milking, seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_  
"Here it comes…" Akaito remarked unhappily.

"FIIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEE GOOOOOOOLLLLDDDDDD RIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGSSSS!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree!"_

"FUCK OFF, DUDE!" Akaito protested. "I come on Vent to relax! Not to hear you spamming your gay shit! LEAVE!"

Neru was undeterred by Akaito's grouchiness and promptly played the next verse.

"_On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…"_

"For God's sake, SHUT UP!"

"_Ten lords a' leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a' milking, seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_

"Meiko, don't! Please!"

Meiko of course ignored Akaito's plea and promptly sang the line.

"FIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOOLLLD RIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGSSSSSS!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree!"_

"I wonder if someone doing this could be charged criminally for just being a total jackoff."

"Being a jackass is not going to get me thrown in prison," Neru unveiled to him while her microphone was not keyed. "Sorry to break your hopes."

"_On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…"_

"I'M GONNA GO FUCKING INSANE!!!" Akaito exclaimed obviously at the end of his tether.

"_Eleven pipers piping, ten lords a' leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a' milking, seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_

"Plea-he-he-he-ease! NO MORE!"

"FIVE (hic!) GOOLLD (hic!) RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGSSS!!!!"

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pair tree!"_

"YOU ARE A FEW CLICKS AWAY FROM BEING BANNED, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" Akaito screamed into the microphone, at the end of his sanity.

Neru was trying hard not to laugh as she turned away to spit her hot chocolate so as not to get it all over the keyboard. Seeing Akaito so close to losing it was too funny to listen to, and if he could get him to break with one more verse, it would be worth the whole night. So, without hesitation or regret, she played the song one last time.

"_On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…"_

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING FUCKER!"

"_Twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a' leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a' milking, seven swans a' swimming, six geese a' laying…"_

"Awww, here we go…" Akaito said with dread.

"Meiko, help me now!" Neru called, waiting for the crescendo from her.

"FIVE GOLD **RIIIIIIIIIINNGGGSSSSSS**!!!!!"

Neru nearly fell out of her chair laughing at how loud and how surprisingly clear and enthusiastic Meiko's solo was, interspersed with her hiccups. She could easily be a partner in crime with Neru if she knew it was her doing this.

"_Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves—"_

"And ONE PERMABAN FROM ME!" Akaito finished, maniacally laughing in triumph as the song came to an end and with it the harassment of their server.

Neru was finally kicked permanently from the server and left laughing her head off with tears of joy in her eyes. This was proving to be a very successful harassment. First she drove Kaito and Miku off the server and into Skype. Then she drove Akaito insane with the "Twelve Days of Christmas." All that remained now was to finish off Rin and Len and her night of harassment would be complete.

She quickly got back on the server and found the channel they were in, and entered quietly, coming in on a moment of silence in the conversation. Her timing could not have been better.

"_Hark how the bells sweet silver bells …"_

"Dude!" Leon protested immediately. "What the fu—"

"_All seem to say throw cares away!"_

Neru's ears were soon bombarded with the sound of Len's laughter, and Neru chuckled. Just as always, Len could find humor in harassment like she did.

"I bet it's the same guy from about half an hour ago!"

"It's not funny," Rin grumbled.

"Scrooge," Neru grumbled back as she played more of the song.

"_Christmas is here, bringing good cheer, to young and old, meek and the bold!"_

"It's quite funny when this happens," Len remarked chuckling.

"I'm glad you enjoy my brand of humor, Len," Neru said while her microphone wasn't keyed.

"No, it's not funny at all!" Rin snapped back.

"That's your opinion."

"Whoever did that is a retard," Leon mumbled into the microphone, obviously tired and not in the mood to have more carols be slammed into his ears.

"_Ding, dong, ding, dong! That is their song, with joyful ring, all caroling…"_

"Yes, you are a frickin' retard whoever did that," Rin concurred. "And you should go fricking run into oncoming traffic."

"That's not nice, Rin," Neru remarked, "to wish someone ill on Christmas Eve. So just for that…"

"_One seems to hear words of good cheer, from everywhere, filling the air! Oh, how they pound, raising their sound, o'er hill and dale, telling their tale…"_

"Dude, shut the hell up!" Rin snapped. "Who the hell is Caroler18?"

"_Gaily they ring while people sing songs of good cheer, Christmas is here! Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!_ _Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!_"

"How did I know that?" Len asked rhetorically laughing at the answer to Rin's question.

"Why do people do this?" Leon asked, at wit's end. "It's the stupidest thing."

"I bet you anything he's one of the guys that puts Ventrilo Harassment videos on the internet."

"Why don't you bet a date with me, Len-chan?" Neru suggested, knowing that he was right.

"Just mute him and he'll go away."

"Oh, it's going to take a little more than that…"

And with that, Neru played the song again, this time with the volume turned up.

"_HARK HOW THE BELLS SWEET SILVER BELLS ALL SEEM TO SAY THROW CARES AWAY!"_

"DUDE!" Rin demanded. "SHUT UP!"

"Ding dong," Len sang along trying to contain his laughing, "ding dong, ding dong, ding dong…"

"_ONE SEEMS TO HEAR WORDS OF GOOD CHEER FROM EVERYWHERE FILLING THE AIR!"_

"For Christ's sake man," Leon protested, "Quit it!"

"Len," Rin said with a note of warning, "don't turn on me now, or I'll roadroll YOU!"

"Roadroll him and you deal with me, bitch," Neru snarled as she kept playing the song.

"_OH HOW THEY POUND, RAISING THEIR SOUND, O'ER HILL AND DALE, TELLING THEIR TALE…"_

"GAILY THEY RING WHILE I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP AND PLEASE GO AWAY!" Rin broke in singing trying to use the song get Neru to leave.

"Those aren't the words, Rin," Neru said chuckling as she turned the volume up at maximum. "It goes…"

"_**GAILY THEY RING WHILE PEOPLE SING SONGS OF GOOD CHEER, CHRISTMAS IS HERE!**__"_

"If you want to get him to go away, you have to sing it right, Rin!" Len laughed.

"I'm too tired to sing! GO AWAY!"

"_COME, ON THEY SEND.__COME, ON THEY SEND.__COME, ON THEY SEND. COME, ON THEY SEND. COME, ON THEY SEND. COME, ON THEY SEND."_

"I'M NOT SINGING!"

"_COME ON THEY SEND, ON WITHOUT END. THEIR JOYFUL TONE TO EVERY HOME."_

Len then finished the last verse as Neru smiled contently that at least person in this server was enjoying this.

"Come on they send, on without end. Their joyful tone, to every home."

"_Ding, dong, ding, dong."_

"Dong…"

"BANNED," Leon entered at last.

With that, Neru was kicked permanently from the server, left laughing as she finished off her chocolate. This night was another success for her, and it was particularly well suited for the holiday season. She had even gotten Len and Meiko to join in on the festivities on Ventrilo. As for Rin, Akaito, and the others who did not make merry…they'll get their share next time.

* * *

A/N: And into the bed with her eyes tired and weary,

The readers laughed as Neru's slumber did not tarry.

But they heard her whisper as she went out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Read and Review and a MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!


	5. Fifth Assault: Ventrilo Virus

**Fifth Assault: Ventrilo Virus**

The Christmas harassment worked out so well that Neru was of course eager to try again. Now of course she didn't immediately get to harassing on Christmas Day or even the day after, allowing everyone some time to recover from their torment as she planned her next trolling session. Three days after Christmas, Neru had concocted a viable and ingenious method of harassment: fooling people into thinking what they were hearing was real. It was the same act of trolling but it was instead trolling incognito, under the guise of a prank rather than a random spam to annoy people.

The plan: harass any Vocaloid found in any Ventrilo server searched.

The method: a text-to-speech program utilizing different voices to issue a false message and spread confusion.

The objective: CHAOS.

Neru was a little nervous since this was a new form of trolling ventrilos for her, but she had seen other people on the internet do it to great effect, and still produce hilarious results. She figured if they could do it, she could do it too. She was doing a good job at the old-fashioned style of trolling Ventrilo so far. She was ready, and willing to harass, with no regrets and no hesitation.

Armed with her tools of the trade, Neru popped into a server and quietly looked down the list of channels to prey on. She quickly found one with two of her favorite targets.

_Vocalthe1st_

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

She chuckled to herself, wondering what the reaction of Rin would be at the surprise she had in store for them. She quickly entered the channel and opened up her text-to-speech program, choosing a posh British voice to be the broadcaster for her harassment. Typing in the blink of an eye, she had her sentence ready and promptly played it over the channel.

"_Warning! Warning!"_

"What the heck?" Len asked immediately in confusion.

"_Warning! The Ventrilo you are using has a virus. Would you like to terminate the virus? Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"Yes," Len said immediately not wanting to take chances.

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"What the heck?"

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"What the hell's going on?" asked the elegant deep voice of Leon.

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"This is a little scary," Rin commented, some shakiness in her voice.

Neru chuckled sinisterly at that. If she was able to get Rin scared that would make this whole harassment worth it.

"Apparently," Len said with bewilderment, "Vent has a virus?"

"Dude, I just got back," Leon said with a note of confusion. "Am I tripping out here or something? What the hell's going on?"

"Let's go to a different channel and see what happens."

They switched channels, but Neru followed Len into the channel he was in. seeing this, Len promptly moved to a different one, but Neru was relentless in her following of Len. Len was of course uneasy about this apparent message that Ventrilo had a virus, and though he tried to express his wishes to terminate the "virus", Neru would only repeat the question once again. After about five channel changes, Len traveled back to the original channel with Rin and Leon to report on their strange visitor.

"It's following me," Len reported.

"Len has a stalker," Rin chuckled.

"This is getting scary now."

"Very."

"Dude, it's following Len," Leon said lowly.

"I actually think this is kind of funny."

"I have no idea what the hell's going on!" Len said quietly laughing to himself, lost in confusion at their situation.

"Allow me to shed light on what's happening then," Neru said as she keyed her microphone and played the clip again.

"_Warning! The Ventrilo you are using has a virus. Would you like to terminate the virus?"_

"Yes!" Len replied, not wanting to take chances.

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"Yes!"

"Yes!" Leon joined in, hoping an additional voice would solve the problem.

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"Yes!" Rin exclaimed, joining in the chorus. "We want to terminate the virus!"

Neru waited a few seconds to give the impression the program was thinking, and promptly repeated the question.

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"I'm just going to mute it," Leon said finally.

"What a crappy voice recognition system," Len commented.

"Very," Rin concurred.

Neru, undeterred by the mute, quickly changed her name and came on the channel again, announcing once again the problem.

"_Warning! The Ventrilo you are using has a virus. Would you like to terminate the virus? Warning!"_

"What the heck?!" Len exclaimed in confusion.

"It's a person!" Leon said at last, finally seeing through the trick.

"Oh…"

"It has to be."

"Yeah, that makes sense now…"

"Curse you Leon," Neru grumbled.

She had to find a way to make them all pay for seeing through the prank. She quickly thought up of a nice way to dispatch with them before she went on her way. She quickly opened up a sound program that would play the blaring of an air horn, and waited for Rin to make a comment adding to the revelation.

"Yeah, it's a person," Rin concluded. "He's using a—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Neru played the sound which blared through the channel right into everyone's ears, causing them all pain.

"What the heck?!" Rin cried angrily.

"What?" Len asked, confused.

"What the heck's with the air horn!?"

"All I hear are bells ringing…"

"Dude," Leon said with annoyance, "that was not cool at all. Fuckin' ears, man…"

Without another word, Neru promptly left the channel.

Well, that didn't go over too well. They quickly saw right through what was going on and caught on to her prank. Then again, they weren't fools and could know when a trick was being played on them. The angry reactions of Rin alone from previous harassments proved that. Perhaps if she tried someone more unsuspecting and gullible she would have better luck. She promptly went on a new server, and while searching the list of channels, she found the perfect target.

_IcecreamFTW20_

_Leekfreak16_

_Tunalover20_

Neru chuckled. The unsuspecting fools.

She quietly entered the channel, but didn't play the sound right off the bat. Instead she changed the voice to use when playing the sound. Now instead of a British voice, she chose a robotic sounding voice from an internet phenomenon that had become world famous. Once ready, she keyed her microphone and broadcasted the announcement.

"_How are you, gentlemen? The Ventrilo you are using has a virus. Would you like to terminate the virus?"_

"What the heck was that?" asked the confused and clueless voice of Kaito.

"I don't know," said Luka's husky moody voice. "What the hell was that?"

"I have no idea," chirped Miku's voice, slightly bewildered. "But it sounded a little scary."

"_Please say 'yes' or 'no' now."_

"If I knew what you were saying," Kaito retorted, imitating the robotic voice.

"_Would you like to terminate the Ventrilo virus?"_

"I don't know what that was asking," Luka commented, confused as to what was happening. "I think it's asking if you want to terminate something."

"NO," Miku replied to the question posed by the robotic voice.

"Are you sure about that?" Neru said slyly as she played the sound again.

"_Would you like to terminate the Ventrilo virus?"_

"Noooo," Miku repeated. "Oh my God…"

"_The Ventrilo has a Trojan. Would you like to terminate the Ventrilo virus?"_

"Noooooooo."

"It's saying the server has a Trojan," Luka said slightly unsure. "Whatever that means."

"It might be my Ventrilo's…" Kaito began uneasily, not quite sure what to make of this strange encounter.

"_Would you like to terminate the Ventrilo virus?"_

"Maybe my Ventrilo needs to be paid again."

"Sure," Neru said in a sardonic tone, "we'll go with that."

"That may be it, Kaito-kun," Miku added, concurring. "They're fixing to shut us off and it wants to know if you want to terminate it now."

"Yeah, that's probably what it is. I need to get on there and pay it."

"NO!" Luka interjected laughing, "Do not terminate it!"

"Luka!" Miku protested. "Why did you do that?!"

"I couldn't help it," Luka laughed.

Neru smiled slyly seeing a good source of fun from what Luka just said. She keyed the program again and brought out a new response:

"_This Ventrilo will terminate in one hour."_

"Damn!"

"What did it say?" Kaito asked again, totally at a loss as to what was happening.

"It said the Ventrilo is going to terminate in an hour."

"What?!"

"_Would you like to cancel your Ventrilo subscription?"_

There then arrived a chorus of answers.

"NO!"

"No!"

"No! Please don't!"

Neru chuckled as she played the next sound.

"_The Ventrilo has been cancelled."_

"What?!"

"Dammit!"

"What the hell is wrong with this voice recognition system!?"

"_Would you like to re-subscribe your Ventrilo?"_

"Yes!" Luka spoke up, trying to save them all. "We want to re-subscribe! Please don't turn it off! We're talking!"

"_Your Ventrilo must be paid within ten minutes to resume using Ventrilo."_

"Sounds like we're fixing to lose Vent," Miku commented forlornly.

"I know," Kaito said with a mark of dread. "Well when we do we can just go on Skype, I guess. Or, I can put it on follow while I pay it."

"That's a good idea. Put it on follow."

"Alright. That's what I'll do. I'll put it on follow real fast and I'll pay it. I'll be right back."

With that Kaito left the server to pay up his subscription while Neru was trying to control her laughing. This prank was working out better than she thought it would be, though of course Kaito was the right kind of person to play it on; he would easily fall for something like this. Kaito seemed to be a good target for harassment being the innocent and overly trusting person he was. Soon, Kaito came back into the channel and reported on the situation.

"Okay, I paid it. So I'm thinking the Ventrilo should be good now."

"Think again," Neru chuckled as she played a new sound.

"_Would you like to cancel your payment?"_

"No no no no no no no no no!" Kaito repeated, trying to get out of what would be a bad situation.

"NO!" Luka interjected. "Please! For the love of God! Don't disconnect our Vent! We made a payment."

"The Ventrilo service team says otherwise," Neru remarked as she played the next sound.

"_Tunalover20 has cancelled bill payment for this Ventrilo server."_

"What?!" Luka exclaimed shocked and utterly lost. "NO! What?!?!"

"What did it say?" Kaito asked.

"It said I cancelled the payment for this server…"

"This thing shouldn't talk to people. Seriously, it shouldn't be still talking. Because I made the payment! How could you…what?!"

"If we get disconnected, just screw it," Miku said resignedly. "We can use Skype."

"I guess the thing just registered me as saying yes," Luka said, a bit ashamed for having caused more drama for them on the channel.

"_User Tunalover20 has chosen to decline bill payment for this Ventrilo server."_

"No!" Kaito protested. "Luka can't pay for the server! I'm the damn account holder, you hooker!"

Neru pounded her hand on the desk at kaito's exclamation. She never thought she would drive him to say that. It was too unimaginable, but it was still funny to hear nonetheless.

"Why the hell would it ask if you want to cancel payment? That's so stupid…"

"Maybe we should take this up with tech support," Neru said laughing as she played another sound.

"_Please wait for a Ventrilo representative to come online."_

While the others were left wondering what that last announcement actually said, Neru got ready a soundboard to act as the "representative." The soundboard she chose was a famous one used for prank calls that had earned a cult following on the internet, and was guaranteed to protest laughs when used.

"Did you understand what that sa—?"

"_HELLO!"_

"Hello?"

"_Yes."_

"Yes?"

"_What's happenin'?"_

"Do what? Who is that?"

"_This is Frank Garrett."_

"I don't understa—what?"

"Kaito," Luka interjected, seeing a way to finally put an end to the madness, "it's a Ventrilo representative. Sir, please do not cancel our payment. We said no but the computer generated voice thing thought we said otherwise."

"Damn straight it did," Neru chuckled as she played the next clip finally putting an end to their torment.

"_Okay."_

"Okay, good," Kaito said breathing a sigh of relief. "I don't like that computer voice. It's a very scary noise."

"_Yes."_

"You should make it a happy person. I just updated my card information, and it's been acting really weird ever since then."

"_Do what?"_

"I updated the card information and ever since I did that it keeps asking us questions and…to be honest, I don't really like when that thing talks to me."

"_I don't give a shit."_

There followed a few moments of silence, all of them in utter shock at what the "representative" just said to an honest request from a customer to improve service. Neru in the meantime laughed her head off almost falling out of her chair, imagining the stupefied looks on all their faces upon hearing that declaration of disinterest said so plainly and with such finality.

"…did he just say 'I don't give a shit'?"

"Yes!" Luka answered, laughing uncontrollably at the bluntness of the "representative." Neru was glad Luka was enjoying this as much as she was.

"Wow," Kaito said in utter astonishment, "Customer service at its finest."

"Anyway sir, thank you for not cancelling our Ventrilo. If we could get back to using it that would be wonderful and we appreciate your time."

"_Yes."_

"Bye-bye!"

"That was amazing," Kaito said still in utter shock. "That guy actually said 'I don't give a shit.'"

"Did you hear that, Miku?" Luka asked still laughing. "Are you still on?"

"Yes, I heard it!" Miku said trying to control her laughing, speaking up finally after her bout of silence.

"Yeah, that was hilarious! He was listening the whole time and I was just sitting here thinking to myself, 'the worst thing you can do is piss these guys off.' They provide a little service and Kaito was being a jerk about it!"

Luka then imitated Kaito's voice complaining about the computer recognition system.

"'Your voice is scary!'"

"I just don't like it," Kaito said resignedly, now that the drama was done. "They should change it."

Neru pulled out one last sound for the text-to-speech program that would put the cap on this night's harassment. She keyed her microphone and the robotic voice uttered the famous line from that internet phenomenon:

"_All your base are belong to us."_

"Oh, GOD no!"

Neru only laughed as they all promptly left the channel realizing just what had been done to them in the past ten minutes. This kind of stealthy harassment seemed to work out very well and produced a lot of good results. It actually seemed to be a more sophisticated way of trolling rather than just spamming random sounds and music. And Kaito was _definitely_ a target suitable for this kind of trolling. She would be back for him, and the others, one day.

That day would be very, very soon.

* * *

A/N: Successful troll is successful. XD Read and review people and hope you all had a great Christmas! Who will victim to Neru's vent harassments next? Wait until next time to find out!


	6. Sixth Assault: 300 Edition

**Sixth Assault: **_**300**_** Edition**

After experimenting with stealth trolling, Neru thought it would be best to go back to old-fashioned harassments, since that produced more humorous reactions. This time she had a soundboard prepared that would trump all her previous harassments so far. It was a soundboard from a famous movie that had become an internet phenomenon, spawning memes all over the web.

This time, things would be different.

This time, there would be no mercy.

No pity.

No remorse.

She could barely contain her chuckling in anticipation for the reactions she was sure to get. She had turned the volume on the sound clips as high as it could go for maximum effect. She was sure that this time, this harassment would be much better than any other harassment she had pulled off yet. She had a feeling tonight would be especially fun.

She looked down the list of servers and entered one she was familiar with. In the fifth channel were the names of her favorite users:

_Vocalthe1st_

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

She chuckled upon seeing her beloved targets. Neru was sure the twins would get a kick out of this.

Quietly, she entered the channel and happened upon a conversation.

"He let himself die like an idiot," Leon complained. "I swear he had a fuckin' freeze spell ready to go and he didn't do it. The Murloc just fuckin' tore him up."

"Why didn't he use it?" Len asked.

"He was not at the computer and he forgot to pause the game."

"Sucks for him, then."

"News flash, everyone," Rin interjected, noticing a newcomer in the channel. "Someone new is in the Vent now."

"Who is it?" asked Len curiously.

"Some guy named 'Madness'."

Neru chuckled as she took that as her cue to play the sound.

"_Madness? THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

There then followed a plethora of protests as Neru looped the last part of the clip to make it sound like Leonidas was continually screaming.

"Wow! That's loud!"

"WHOA!"

"Holy crap!"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"Get out of the server, bitch," Leon grumbled agitatedly.

"What the hell is this?!" Rin asked in a mix of anger and confusion.

"I'm glad you asked," Neru chuckled as she gave her answer.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

Get out of here!" Leon protested. "Fuckin' A!"

"_This is blasphemy!"_

"SHUT UP!" Rin yelled.

"_This is madness!"_

"This is retarded!"

"Wrong, Rin," Neru said giggling sinisterly. "I'll tell you what this is."

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!"_

"I'll roadroll you if you don't stop screaming in the mic…" Rin threatened.

Neru only laughed at her pitiful attempt to get her to stop.

"In order to roadroll me, Rin," Neru retorted while her microphone wasn't keyed, "you'd have to find out who I am and where I live. And currently you can't do that since you don't have my real IP, nor will you ever since my IP is constantly changing thanks to my scrambler. Therefore…"

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"Global mute for the win," Leon chuckled.

Undeterred and undaunted by this mute, Neru quickly changed her name and reentered the channel.

"Who's Leonidas?" Leon asked, fearing the worst.

"Oh son of a bitch," Len laughed seeing what was about to happen. "I bet it's the same person."

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"Mute number two," Leon declared with finality.

It would take more than a simple mute to stop this expert troll. Neru changed her name once again and entered the channel, playing the word that served as their torture.

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!"_

"LEAVE. THE SERVER. NOW," Rin shouted threateningly.

"Oh come on," Neru laughed at her useless attempt to get her to leave. "It's going to take more than that to get _me_ to leave."

"Just mute him every time he comes in," Leon suggested, mumbling tiredly.

"Then he's just going to change his name again and come back in," Len countered, knowing what they were in store for.

And sure enough, after a third mute by Leon, that's precisely what Neru did.

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!"_

"That shit is loud as hell," Leon commented.

"Wow, so annoying…" Rin complained, irritably.

"So what are we going to do about this?" Len asked. "We have to do something."

"Can you ban him, Leon?"

"I can't," Leon said with a hint of regret. "I don't have admin to this server anymore; Lola took it away."

"Why'd she take it away from you?"

"You don't want to know; trust me."

"Oh I _don't_," Neru said sarcastically. "And I don't really care for that matter since that helps me all the more."

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"SHUT UP, YOU BAKA!" Rin screeched nearing the edge of her sanity. "JESUS CHRIST!"

Neru almost spat her soda onto the keyboard laughing at Rin's reaction. If she was freaking out now, then her reaction when she came to the end of this night's encounter would be pure gold.

"So we can't ban him, we can't kick him…" Len pondered, going over the options, "what _can _we do?"

"You could sit here and enjoy it," Neru suggested as she keyed the sound again.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!"_

"DUDE," Leon commanded, thoroughly annoyed, "SHUT THE…fuck up…"

"Whatever we do," Rin spoke up, not enjoying this at all, "let's do it fast before he talks again."

"Let's just go on a different server where we don't have to deal with this."

"Aww, screw you, Leon," Neru said disheartened. "That's lame, taking away my fun."

"Which server though? I don't know of any others…" Rin said with some confusion.

"I'll type it to you guys in chat," Leon replied.

Leon quickly sent out a message to the twins in chat which Neru was not privy to, but she was determined to get them to break before they left Ventrilo.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!"_

"DUDE, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Rin yelled, clearly on her last nerves.

Neru was almost in tears seeing how easily Rin was getting agitated by this. She could not even see them evacuate the server and leave her all alone, she was laughing so hard. Oh well, she sighed. At least it was fun while it lasted. She could always annoy them some other time. Tomorrow, most likely.

Still, she felt her night of harassment was not complete. So without further hesitation, she jumped onto another server she was familiar with, one that was the home of one of her more easy prey. Looking down the list of channels she spotted her targets like a hunter.

_Leekfreak16_

_Tunalover20_

Exactly who she was looking for.

Before she entered the channel, however, her eyes caught sight of an amusing and pleasant surprise.

Three new names popped into the channel, and when she saw them she could not help but chuckle sinisterly, which then gave way to a maniacal giggle.

_Vocalthe1st_

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

This was too good. Luck and good fortune must be with her this night. Not only did she drive the twins off their server, but they also came into the very next server she was going to harass! And no doubt, they were in for a very rude awakening once Neru got in.

Tonight would be especially entertaining.

She quietly entered the channel and came in on Miku and Luka greeting their new users.

"Hi guys!" Miku chirped in her optimistic voice.

"Hello Len, Rin, Leon," Luka's moody voice added. "What brings you to our server?"

"Some douchebag drove us off ours with his gayness," Leon grumbled.

Neru chuckled at Leon's characterization of her antics on their server. What was funny was if Leon and the twins didn't take it so seriously they would not be in this position they were now. Then again it was the serious people who gave her the best reactions, so she shouldn't really be complaining.

"Oh really?" Miku noted with interest. "We had someone like that on our server on Christmas Eve."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, someone was spamming Christmas carols and had them really loud. He drove me and Kaito-kun into Skype, it was getting so bad."

"Fucking kids…"

"Miku," Neru noted with some chuckling, "what you're about to get is MUCH worse than what you got on Christmas."

"There's a new guy in the channel," Luka remarked.

"Who is it?" Miku asked.

"Someone named SpartanXL."

"Wait a minute…" Leon interjected, with a note of forlorn dread of what he feared was about to come.

Neru seized the opportunity and introduced herself in the way she knew best.

"_This is blasphemy!"_

"Oh shit…" Leon said knowing what was now happening.

"_This is madness!"_

"Oh my God!" Len laughed, upon realizing their tormentor had found them.

"_Madness?"_

"Not again!" Rin groaned, obviously not in the mood for going against their dealer in torture.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!"_

"Apparently, this is Sparta," Luka commented sardonically, referring to their new user.

"Was that the guy who drove you off?" Miku asked.

"Yes! That's him!" Rin called out, trying to get either Miku or Luka to do something about it. "He came into our server and played those exact same sounds! And now…argh!"

At that moment, a new user popped into the channel, and Neru saw immediately by the username that it was Kaito. Now the fun was sure to begin.

"What's going on, guys?" Kaito asked casually, oblivious to what was about to happen.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"To answer your question," Luka said matter-of-factly, "that."

"What the HELL is that?!" Kaito asked in a mix of confusion and agitation.

"Your worst nightmare," Neru laughed sinisterly.

"Some faggot who was bothering us on our server," Leon grumbled.

"That 'faggot' is now globally muted," Kaito declared, with some resentment at Leon's choice of words.

Alas, the mute is not that which stops an expert troll.

Neru quickly changed her name undeterred by the mute and came back in, stealing the name of someone in the channel.

"How come there are two of me in the channel now?" Len asked curiously.

"Because he's changing his name like he did last time," Leon grumbled. "Stupid ass moron…"

"Uh-oh, I'm the top Mirror2…"

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!!"_

"OW!" Leon cried in pain. "You motherfucker…"

"Dude, stop!" Len pleaded.

"I'll kick him, guys," Kaito said in a promise. "Hang on…"

A few minutes of silence followed as Neru fully expected a kick out of the server, but instead got nothing. What she got instead was a nice and amusing surprise.

"Did you kick him?" Leon asked.

"Yeah, I did. He's gone."

"Kaito…" Miku started.

"Thank God," Leon sighed with relief. "That kid was annoying as shit."

"I know," Kaito concurred. "That really hurt my ears."

"Kaito…" Miku repeated.

"That wouldn't really bother me so much if he didn't have the volume so high."

"Kaito…"

"Or at least choose a different soundboard."

"Kaito!"

"Because, honestly, I'm not that big of a 300 fan."

"KAITO!"

"What?!"

"You kicked the wrong Len out!"

There followed a few moments of silence as Neru sat laughing uncontrollably at Kaito's failure to get rid of her. Kaito had always done stupid things before, but this topped everything! He couldn't even kick the right person who harassing them. Just to ram the point of Kaito's failure home, Neru played the sound again.

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"…Oops."

"Kaito," Neru said laughing, "you've failed many times in many areas before, but this was your most epic fail yet! Thanks for the gold!!!"

Kaito rectified his failed attempt however and quickly brought back in the true Len, who upon return and amidst much laughter, remarked upon the booting as such:

"Well…that was…"

"Poor Len!" Luka remarked laughing. "He had nothing to do with it!"

"Stupid BaKaito!" Rin said derisively.

"Sorry, Len," Kaito said with an ounce of embarrassment.

"We forgive you, Kaito-kun," Miku said laughing.

"Me too," Neru said chuckling while her microphone wasn't keyed. "And for that, I'm giving you a present. It's this."

And with that, she keyed her microphone and played the sound once more.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"_

"What the hell, dude!?" Leon cried out helplessly.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"_

"OH MY GOD!" Kaito followed, knowing not what to do to get rid of their tormentor.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"_

"Get the HELL out of here!" Rin yelled, close to losing it (or perhaps already lost it).

"Dude, you friggin' idiot," Len added, thoroughly annoyed, "stop."

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"_

"The guy must have a powerful voice to yell 'Sparta' that loud and that long," Luka commented.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"KICK HIM! SOMEONE KICK HIM, PLEASE!" Miku cried out.

With that, Neru was kicked from the server and promptly received a message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: Sparta_

Neru laughed at the simple message, seeing that was Kaito's doing. He couldn't even form a good reason to kick her out other than the word that served to torture them all. Still, this little troll was undaunted and unmoved by this kick. She soon quietly crept back in under a new name.

"Oh, fucking amen," Leon breathed a sigh of relief, thinking at last their problem child was gone.

"That was giving me a headache," Kaito commented, "A headache worse than when I eat too much Haagen-Dazs."

"My ears are bleeding right now," Luka said resignedly.

"That was crazy," Rin said sighing in light of this liberation from their annoying pest.

"And it's about to get worse," Neru chuckled as she keyed the sound once again.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!"_

"Oh crap…" Len said with anguish.

"Come on, seriously…" Leon declared in utter disbelief.

"This is terrible!" Rin cried out.

"Wrong again, Rin," Neru chuckled.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!"_

"Shut up! Fuckin' a…" Leon pleaded, nearing the end of his tether.

"Kaito-kun, can't you ban him?!" Miku cried, trying to talk over the loud screaming.

"I'm trying to but I can't!"

"WHAT?!"

"I can kick him but I can't ban him! What the hell?!"

"He must have screwed with the server like that guy on Christmas Eve…"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"New server, guys," Kaito said resignedly, totally giving up fighting against their repressor.

"What?" everyone asked, unable to hear because of the screaming.

"GO TO A NEW SERVER!"

"Type the info in chat!" Len called. "Make sure he doesn't read it!"

"Give me a second…"

And in a flash, the server was evacuated, and Neru was left in tears of joy. Tonight was proving to be the most successful harassment yet. First she drove Leon and the twins from their server. Then they joined Kaito's server, and she drove them all insane and forced them off from his. Now all that remained was to finish the night with Akaito and Meiko. And, if luck truly smiled on her this night, she would find Kaito, Miku, Luka, the twins, and Leon on Akaito's server as well.

She left Kaito's server and quickly went to Akaito's, and scrolled to find their channel. Sure enough, she found Akaito and Meiko in the channel, but before she entered, she laughed at what she saw next: one by one, new people came into Akaito's channel.

_Mirror1_

_Mirror2_

_Vocalthe1st_

_IcecreamFTW20_

_Leekfreak16_

_Tunalover20_

She could not believe her good luck this night. Not only was she going to annoy the hell out of Akaito now, but she would also be catching everyone else at the end of his tether. This would definitely be entertaining.

She silently entered the channel while no one took any notice and came in on Akaito remarking on how many people were coming in.

"What the hizzle?" Akaito said with surprise. "Where did you guys all come from?"

"Some faggot has been following us," Leon complained.

"What do you mean?"

"A retard thought it would be cool to annoy the shit out of us so he came in my server first and spammed us with loud sounds."

"Yeah, then he chased us off and got us on Kaito's server," Rin continued.

"So, here we are."

"We've been getting some problems on my server too with people like that too," Akaito said, noting the similarity of problems between them all. "Some guy on Christmas Eve played 'Twelve Days of Christmas' on my shit and drove me insane."

"What do people get out this? I swear…"

"Um…laughs, perhaps?" Neru suggested. "The only person making it annoying is _you_, Leon, and everyone else who is letting it get to them."

"You're safe with me, guys," Akaito assured them. "If he comes in I'll kick his ass out immediately."

"Thank you," Leon replied. "Oh by the way, it says Meiko is in here too but she isn't talking."

"She's not at the computer right now."

"Where is she?"

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

There followed a few moments of shocked silence as everyone realized their tormentor was back, and still kicking. Then Leon spoke first, utterly incredulous that this was happening.

"Dude, seriously, what the fuck!?"

"You got to be kidding me!" Rin cried out, completely helpless and at a total loss.

"Dude!" Len groaned. "Come on!"

"WHOA! Was that the guy you were talking about?" Akaito asked.

"Yeah, that's him," Kaito grumbled.

"Wow, I almost spilled my coffee on the keyboard that shit came out so loud."

"I'm back, Akaito," Meiko chirped upon reentering the channel. "Whoa, where did all these people come from?!"

"Long story," everyone replied.

"Meiko be on your guard," Akaito warned. "There's a retard in here spamming some stupid shit."

"Oh really?" Meiko laughed. "This should be funny then."

"Enjoy, bottle fairy," Neru chuckled as she keyed the sound again.

"_This is blasphemy!"_

"Seriously?!" Meiko laughed upon hearing the sound, realizing what was happening.

"_This is madness!"_

"This has to be the best guy yet!"

"_Madness?"_

"THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAA!!!"

Neru almost spat out her soda on the keyboard laughing at Meiko's enthusiasm. She didn't sound drunk at all, and she still provided a good audience for this harassment. It was official: with the following of almost all the Vocaloids from Leon's server into Kaito's server and now cornered on Akaito's server, coupled with Meiko's great attitude, this was Neru's best harassment yet.

"This guy gets really annoying really fast…" Rin groaned.

"I think he's hilarious!" Meiko laughed. "I don't know what you guys are complaining about!"

"Don't encourage him, Meiko-san! You're just going to make it worse!"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"I'm gonna fucking kill whoever that is…" Akaito grumbled into the microphone.

"Kick him, then!" Rin pleaded. "Don't let him stay in here if he's pulling that!"

"I'm going to in a minute…"

"Hey, shithead!" Leon called out to their problem child. "Guess what!"

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"_

"Stop, or I'll kick your ass out of here," Akaito threatened.

"Don't kick him!" Meiko protested, laughing. "I want to find out who he is!"

"Find out where he lives so we can beat the shit out of him," Leon laughed.

"Go tie him down," Rin continued giggling, "and we can stand around his bed, get right in his face and scream 'SPARTA' and say 'how do you like that, bitch?'"

"If any of you COULD find me," Neru retorted while her microphone wasn't keyed, "you would regret it."

"Hey kid, where do you live?" Meiko asked.

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"Can I go out for a drink with you some time?"

"That'd be very nice, Meiko," Neru chuckled, "Too bad you're not going to find out who I am."

"_TONIGHT__…WE DINE__…IN HELL!!!_"

"That sounds like a nice evening plan. So where should I meet you?"

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

_"_Cool. So if I fly into Sparta, will you pick me up?"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"I'll take that as a yes," Meiko said laughing.

"Can we kick this guy now?" Rin asked.

"I need to find his name out first," Akaito reported.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"Guys, I'm getting out of here," Luka mumbled. "This is just annoying."

"Yeah, I think I'll log out for a little bit," Miku concurred. "Have fun."

At the same moment Luka and Miku logged out Neru was kicked from the server and received the message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: annoying as shit_

Neru chuckled, but felt unsatisfied with her results so far. Until she got them all to break or at least quit Vent, her harassment was not complete. So without another word or ounce of hesitation she changed her name and reentered the server.

"Oh, thank God," Leon sighed with relief.

"You shouldn't have kicked him, Akaito!" Meiko complained, "I wanted to find out who he was!"

"I don't care who he is!" Akaito retorted agitatedly. "He needs to quit that shit and get a life, _and_ a job."

"I _have_ a job," Neru replied resentfully at Akaito's rude comment. "And part of my life is annoying the shit out of all of you."

"He's probably a twelve-year-old kid who has nothing better to do."

"You'd be surprised if you found out who I was."

And on that note, Neru keyed the sound once again.

"_THIS…IS…SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"**WHAT THE FUCK?!"** Akaito yelled seeing their problem child back in the channel.

"Hooray! He's back!" Meiko cheered.

"Does this guy really get _that_ much pleasure out of annoying us?" Kaito asked in disbelief at the situation.

"As a matter of fact," Neru replied, "yes, I do."

"It just doesn't make sense…"

"Most things in this family don't make sense."

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"I cannot BELIEVE this shit!" Leon cried exasperatedly.

"I'm sick of this," Rin grumbled. "I'm sick of people having no life to do this trash…"

"Rin, I _do_ have a life," Neru retorted, "and it's a lot more fulfilling than yours."

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA__…"_

"**SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!**" Rin and Akaito yelled together.

Neru and Meiko burst out laughing at the loss of sanity with Rin and Akaito as Neru secretly rejoiced. After a long night of chasing everyone off their vents and into Akaito's, Neru had succeeded in her objective at last. This had definitely been her best night yet.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"**I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE AND KILL YOU!**" Akaito shrieked. "**MOTHERFUCKER!!!**"

"Jesus, man," Meiko said taken aback, trying to control her laughing.

"I'm going to kill him," Leon threatened lowly.

"I HOPE YOU GET IN A CAR CRASH AND BURN TO DEATH, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Rin screeched almost breaking her voice into a newer unexplored higher pitch Neru never heard before, which only served to help Neru laugh even harder.

"Just think," Kaito noted exhaustedly, "while this guy was browsing down the list of all the servers to harass, he just _had_ to choose all three of ours."

"The sad part is," Meiko added chuckling, "you all will be sleeping and you'll hear that guy screaming 'Sparta' all…night…long."

"Not if I fucking ban him," Akaito countered, now thoroughly incensed.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA__…"_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING SHITBRICK!" Akaito threatened. "I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD WHEN I FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE I WILL STAB YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING THROAT WHILE YOU SLEEP! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?! GET THE **FUCK** OFF MY FUCKING VENT, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"He only keys the sound when you talk," Meiko noted, trying hard not to laugh. "I'm serious about that."

"He won't be keying it anymore once I'm done here…"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…" _

"See? It's only when _you_ talk."

"This guy's gonna be here forever," Len resigned tiredly, "We got to learn to enjoy it."

"FUCK NO!" was the definitive and finite answer from virtually all in the channel with the exception of Meiko who just kept on laughing.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Akaito grumbled.

"_SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"For once in your fucking life, would you consider what other people think?"

Neru paused for a few seconds to give the impression that she was thinking it over, but of course, she _was_ considering what some people thought, namely, herself and Meiko, who seemed to be the only person enjoying this.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"I guess that means no."

"Asshole," Leon admonished mumbling.

"I'm like a few clicks away from banning him now."

"Don't bother; I'm off Vent now. Fuck this shit."

"I'm out too, guys," Kaito followed, sighing. "I can't take anymore of this…"

Neru sincerely hoped the twins wouldn't leave too without breaking them one last too. It would not be a complete harassment without a final crack from Rin.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"DUDE, STOP!" Rin admonished. "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!"

"Hey, that's mean," Neru said feigning sadness, "you're gonna make me cry, Rin…"

"_AAAAAAAAA…"_

"WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU STOP, DUDE!"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"_

"IF I EVER FOUND OUT WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE, I'M NOT ONLY GONNA ROADROLL YOU BUT I'LL ALSO ROADROLL YOUR HOUSE, YOUR MOM AND…AND…!!!"

What then followed was Rin completely losing her mind, uttering incoherencies in a fit of rage and anger that helped Neru to fall off her chair, laughing uncontrollably as Akaito then yelled triumphantly,

"Guess what cockblock? YOU ARE BANNED!"

With that, Neru was banned permanently from the server and brought the night of harassment to a close. This had been perhaps her most successful night driving the twins and Akaito insane, as well as catching everyone on the same servers she went to each night. Meiko once again provided a grand audience, though it would have been better if she was loaded instead of sober and sane like this night.

Next night, she hoped, would be even better.

No, not just a hope.

A solemn promise.

* * *

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had safe and wonderful festivities! What better way to inaugurate the New Year than with a new harassment? I chose 300 as the theme for this one in honor of the 300 plus views this has gotten.

Thanks so much for all your support and be sure to tune in next time when another Vocaloid falls to the skills of our expert tsundere troll, Neru!


	7. Seventh Assault

A/N: This is a short harassment, but I think you will still like it. ;)

* * *

**Seventh Assault**

The blonde girl with a side ponytail sat quietly at her computer, sipping the soda can she had gotten out of the refrigerator in the Vocaloid house. On the screen stood a list of Ventrilo servers to infiltrate, but the girl wasn't intent on staying in for one very long. After a hard day of work at her writing agency, she didn't mind settling with a small quick harassment of whoever happened to be in there. After one brief session of torture, she'd quit and go to bed, since her boss demanded she be at work at an ungodly hour the next day.

She quickly entered a server she was familiar with, and scrolled down the channels, searching for two names she was hoping to see.

Sure enough, in the tenth channel, she found them:

_Pepperlover18_

_Bottlefairy_

They always provided a good audience for her antics.

Quietly she entered the channel and happened upon a conversation between the deep voice of Akaito and the mature, slightly slurred voice of Meiko as she readied one single sound clip to play.

"Yeah," Akaito continued, laughing, "If you have ever gone on YouTube, the guy actually looks pretty gruesome. He has like a girl's pigtails and fucked up teeth and a goatee!!"

"He's (HIC!) definitely not getting a d-d-d-date!" Meiko stuttered laughing.

The girl quickly got bored with their conversation and decided now would be as good a time as any to start the harassment. So without any hesitation she played her clip which was a banjo and guitar piece from the famous American movie, _Deliverance_.

Once the first chords of the song were struck, all in the channel were struck with silence as if by a lightning bolt as the song kept playing. Then Meiko started to chuckle as she realized what was now happening. Akaito on the other hand only kept silent, as the girl could feel his fury starting to rise, not wanting to deal with yet another harasser. He then breathed out in suppressed anger,

"Son of a bitch, not this shit again…"

The girl quickly cut off the song but before she did, she received a prompt and swift kick from the server, and received the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: no music_

However, the girl was not satisfied with such an abrupt end to the torture she wanted to bring upon Akaito, and so she quickly reentered the channel, and just as quickly started the song again.

This time, Meiko laughed hard, seeing that their little troublemaker was not so quick to give up the fight. The girl was glad that at least Meiko enjoyed her style in humor. Akaito however was not amused in the least, as evidenced by the following words from him:

"**GODDAMN YOU!**"

A few moments of silence followed as Meiko and the girl just laughed at Akaito's angered outburst that nearly blew their microphones. If he was getting this worked up on the second assault, then he would give everyone a good bang when the girl was finished. As the girl cut off the song, she was kicked once again from the server and received the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: music is annoying_

The girl only laughed, since she knew the only person who was making it annoying was Akaito. If he could loosen up like Meiko, he would greatly enjoy it. Still, his anger problems gave the girl some great reactions so she couldn't really complain. Without a moment's hesitation she reentered the channel and started the song again. At the first chord, Meiko broke out in laughter.

"All the ssssssspammers join (HIC!) our server!" Meiko laughed.

"Oh fuck…" Akaito grumbled as the girl quickly cut off the music in response.

"It's kind of fffffffffunny," Meiko remarked. "He's j-j-j-j-just c-coming in and playing some (HIC!) random banjo song."

"It's not funny at all…"

With those words, the girl was kicked from the server once more, and received the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: fuck off bitch_

Undeterred, she quickly reentered the channel and played the song in one final desperate assault, just as she happened upon a conversation between Akaito and Meiko once more.

"Yeah, now the d-OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" Akaito cried out as he was interrupted by the banjo. "This guy is fuckin' retarded…"

"It mmmmmmmay be retarded," Meiko countered laughing, "but it'ssssss still (HIC!) funny!"

As the girl played the last few chords of the song, Meiko only kept laughing as Akaito only groaned in frustration. Sure enough, the final assault brought the results she was looking for as he screamed helplessly,

"WHAT DO PEOPLE GET OUT OF THIS?!"

"Laughs," said the girl while her microphone wasn't keyed.

Then, as if in response, she was permanently banned from the server and received the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been banned from this server because: banjo playing fucktard_

The girl only laughed seeing this short night of harassment that lasted less than five minutes still brought great results. Looking at her clock, she realized it was time to head to bed, lest she oversleep the next morning and be late. So she closed out, shut down, and tucked away for a good night's sleep, knowing that tomorrow was another day for harassment.

* * *

A/N: Short in length, but big in results. Haha. I came up with this idea as I went to my first day of classes today, passing by one person who was playing a guitar and another who played a banjo and them squaring off in a musical duel like in the movie Deliverance. (WATCH THE MOVIE IT'S AWESOME) I also saw a Vent Harassment video using the same banjo duel and, although under a minute in length, produced lulzy results.

Thanks for your continued support and like always, READ AND REVIEW!


	8. Eighth Assault: Unforgotten Realms

A/N: Hey Guys. It's been a while hasn't it? Well that's because a lot went horribly WRONG! Almost after I get back to school, my computer broke down and I had to have it taken to the college computer depot where I was deprived of it for a whole week, before the problem was identified. (It was hard drive failure. _) I then had to go out and get a new hard drive to replace the old one and I was left without a computer for three more days. And then, after I got it back I had no time to use it while I applied to different scholarships and get different letters of recommendation and all that college-y stuff that goes with being a student. But, somehow, I managed to get back to writing and so to celebrate here is the latest addition!

This time, Neru goes away from her usual victims to annoy someone new...I think you will like it.

Special thanks to Megami-Ze for giving me this idea. This chapter is dedicated especially to you!

* * *

**Eighth Assault: Unforgotten Realms**

It had been about a week since the last time Neru entered Ventrilo and she was itching to get back on again. The last week had left her with virtually no time to get on her computer…

…until today.

She decided that it was a good time to leave her usual victims alone for a little while and find someone else to troll. She was sure that her fellow Vocaloids had other servers other than just the ones Rin, Len, Miku, Kaito and the others were on all the time. She typed in a random IP number into the search server text box, and was brought to the server. She found the first channel and promptly entered, and was greeted by a familiar voice…

"The guy who I took the thing to almost deleted the whole fucking hard drive by mistake. I'm never going to that tech support place again."

"Dell?"

Dell Honne was the older half-brother of Neru's friend Haku, and an expert in computers and all things technical. One could ask Dell anything about computers and he would have the answer to them. He was also a notorious black hat hacker, commonly called a "cracker", who specialized in unauthorized entry into computer systems. He was known to even create viruses and attack some of his rivals' computers, completely crashing their systems and costing them all their data with no expense to him. He was also a fervent workaholic with a no-nonsense attitude about life.

Dell knew Neru a little, but they weren't particularly close, other than the occasional coffee after work or a meeting in the park. Neru found his serious demeanor to be off-putting, and sometimes annoying.

A perfect target for an aggravating harassment.

Neru giggled in anticipation, already imagining the reactions from Dell, being the serious man he was. She pulled out a soundboard she had crafted from an internet television show that lampooned and parodied table top games such as Dungeons and Dragons and MMORPGs such as World of Warcraft. (A/N: for those who don't know, the name is Unforgotten Realms. The sound clips here are taken from the old series episode 6. You can find it on the website for Escapist Magazine, or just google "Unforgotten Realms.")

"_Heeeeeeeeey!"_

A few moments of silence followed, as Neru waited for a response.

"Did anyone else just hear someone saying 'hey?'" Dell asked, slightly befuddled by what just had just happened.

"_Heeeeeeeeeey!"_

"What the shit?" said an unfamiliar confused voice. Probably one of Dell's hacker friends, Neru thought.

"_Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!!!"_

"What the hell is going on?" said another confused voice. Yep, these were definitely Dell's hacker friends.

"_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!!"_

"Dude," Dell said exasperatedly, "just…what is it?"

"_Wizards suck!"_

There then followed some scattered chuckles from Dell's friends as Neru just laughed, wondering what was going through Dell's mind right now.

"It's funny," said a friend. "He's trying so hard to get our attention and he just wants to say that."

"It's sort of retarded…" Dell said in a deadpan tone.

"Don't tell me you're gonna be like Akaito, Dell…" Neru said, feigning a pout.

"_Heeeeeeeeeeey!"_

"What?" Dell asked.

"_Wizards suck!"_

There followed a small chorus of laughter from Dell's friends who were clearly getting a kick out of their strange visitor.

"Starting to piss me off…"

"Don't be that way, Dell!" Neru pleaded, laughing.

"_Heeeeeeeeeeey!!!"_

"What?! If you say 'wizards suck' one more time, I'm muting you!"

"You got to threaten me a little better than that," Neru laughed as she played the next clip.

"_Wizards suck!"_

"Awww, you didn't just say that, dude…"

"_Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait........................wait.....................wait."_

"WHAT?!"

"_Wizards suck!"_

"Muted."

Neru laughed and Dell's friends along with her as she changed her name and reentered the channel.

"I like that guy," one of his friends said. "That guy's leet."

"Who's the new guy in here?" another friend asked.

"His name is Sir Schmoo—" the other replied, who broke his own sentence with a laugh.

"Say it," Neru encouraged.

"What?"

"Say it!"

"It says Sir schmooo-hahahahah!!!"

"Say it! Say it! Say it!"

"Sir Schmoopy of Awesometon!" the friend eked out, laughing hard.

"Intruder, who are you?" Dell demanded.

"_Wizards suck!"_

"God…DAMMIT! I thought I muted your ass!"

"_Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait........................wait.....................wait."_

"YES! WE KNOW WIZARDS SUCK, NOW STOP SAYING IT!"

"_Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait........................wait.....................wait."_

"You better not say wizards suck."

"Oh I've got something better," Neru said laughing.

"_I have night vision!"_

Everyone except Dell laughed hard at that, not seeing that switch in declaration. Neru was having a fun time harassing this Vent, and she could tell that Dell was quickly getting aggravated by her. Which was just what she planned. Maybe Dell could be good fodder for the future.

"Okay, that's nice," Dell grumbled. "Now go away."

"This guy is leet, man," said one of Dell's friends laughing.

"This guy is annoying is what he is," Dell countered.

"I don't think he's annoying at all, man. I think he's just funny!"

"_Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait........................wait.....................wait."_

"What is it now?" Dell groaned.

"_HOLY CRAP, IT'S A SPIDER BEAR!"_

Everyone started guffawing at that seemingly random line, except of course for Dell, who just continued to gather more anger from this strange occurrence.

"OH NOES!" cried a hacker.

"Should we fight it?" asked another.

"_It's got EIGHT FRICKIN MONOCLES! EIGHT FRICKIN MONOCLES!"_

"Eight monocles?!"

"There's no way we can beat that!"

"_RUN! RUN FOR THE HILLS!"_

"This dude's a fucking idiot…" Dell grumbled.

"_No, it's a wizard spider!"_

"YOU'RE A FAGGOT!" Dell spluttered, as everyone, including Neru was left in tears, laughing uncontrollably as Dell finally kicked Neru from the server, with the following message:

_Ventrilo – Sever Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: being a retard_

Neru could not contain her enjoyment at the great reactions from Dell she was getting. He could very well become a new prey for her in any future harassment. His serious nature and no-nonsense attitude meant she could have a very fun time with him very quickly. She _had_ to keep this going. So without any hesitation she reentered the channel.

"He's back guys!" called out one hacker friend.

"All right, Schmoopy!" cheered another.

"Now let's defeat that wizard spider, shall we?" Neru chuckled.

"_It's a wizard spider!"_

"I know! What are we gonna do, Schmoopy!?"

"_FEEL THE WRATH OF KUNUK STEEL, FOOL!"_

"That's a great idea, Schmoopy!"

"Hey Schmoop," Dell called, "I got a better idea. It's called 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!'"

"That won't help us to defeat the spider, Dell," Neru laughed. "So I have two things to say."

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

"You know if anyone is gay on this vent, it's you for coming on here and playing on it. So maybe you should go outside and get a life."

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

"Go fucking play in traffic, dude."

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

"You know, that's getting a bit repetitive. Don't you have anything better to say?"

"I'll show you repetitive…" Neru responded.

She quickly took the recording of Dell's voice and played it back, looping that one phrase to show just was what repetition really was.

"_A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. A bit repetitive. Don't you have anything better to say?"_

There then followed a plethora of laughs from all in the channel, and Neru could _swear_ she heard Dell chuckle…just a little…from the mocking of his own voice.

"He just owned you, dude," a hacker said, trying hard to control his laughing.

"I love this guy," said another.

"Awww, thank you," Neru said, encouraged by this hacker's admission of love. "I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I am."

"_Heeeeeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!"_

"Yeah?"

"_Heeeeeeeeey!"_

"Do wizards still suck?" Dell asked, seemingly knowing the answer.

"_SPIDERS SUCK!"_

Almost everyone in that channel burst out in laughter, taken by surprise at that phrase, when they were sure they were going back to the wizards.

"This guy is awesome!" a hacker said, still laughing.

"I could listen to him all day."

"This guy is slowly driving me nuts…" Dell grumbled.

"Dell, dude, chill out," one of the hackers replied, trying to control his laughing. "It sucks we have a spammer but it's kinda funny, don't you think?"

"_Heeeeeeeeey!"_

"I'm not gonna say anything…I'm just gonna ignore it…" Dell repeated to himself.

"_Heeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey!"_

"OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!" Dell yelled, obviously reaching his boiling point.

"_Wizards suck!"_

"You're getting kicked again…"

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

And in a flash, Neru was kicked again from the server, receiving the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: get a life_

Neru laughed, getting more and more laughs out of annoying Dell than she had anticipated. Such a night was too good to leave unfinished without him completely losing it. She devised a simple, but effective plan.

Quickly, she reentered the channel.

"What do you want?!" Dell demanded immediately.

"_RUN FOR THE HILLS!"_

"Yeah, _you_ run for the hills!"

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

Neru was again kicked, much faster this time than the other times and received this message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: GTFO_

"Hey, Dell can use chatspeak too!"

Neru again entered the channel, and was quick in her attack.

"_Fortitude save."_

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" Dell screeched, now very close to losing it.

"_Fortitude save."_

"Len, if this is you doing this, I promise that I will—"

"_FEEL THE WRATH OF KUNUK STEEL!"_

"—fucking hack your computer, delete everything on your drive, then find you and—"

"_EIGHT FRICKIN' MONOCLES! RUN FOR THE HILLS!"_

"—pull out each of your fingernails slowly," Dell vowed. "You do not fuck with the number one black hat hacker on this side of Hokkaido, faggot. Do you think I won't hunt you down like the dog you are?! Get the FUCK off this Vent, you stupid son of a bitch!"

Neru and the other hackers on the vent were left in tears, they were all laughing so hard from Dell's rapidly losing his temper.

"That's just so funny, dude," a hacker said laughing. "I never laughed that hard! I haven't laughed that hard in months!"

"I'm glad you find this as hilarious as I do," Neru said, cracking herself up.

Just as she said that, she was kicked again and received the message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message: _

_You have been kicked from this server because: STOP THIS SHIT MOTHERFUCKER_

Neru just as quickly reentered the channel.

"_Heeeeeeeeeey!"_

"What?!" Dell demanded.

"_Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!"_

"What do you want?!"

"_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!"_

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME, YOU FUCKING BASTARD?!"

"_Wizards suck!"_

The hackers were all cracking themselves up while Dell was close to going insane on Ventrilo for all to hear. Neru could almost feel his rage venting over the internet connection and to her, as he hyperventilated and tried desperately to calm down before giving himself a hemorrhage.

"I'll be right back, guys," Dell said as he changed his status to _afk_.

"My God, dude," one of the hackers said, still laughing. "This has to be the most hilarious night on Vent ever."

"You see what he wrote on Vent?" another hacker asked, trying to suppress his amusement.

"What did he write?"

"Next to his name, the guy wrote in parentheses, 'who is that dick?'"

"OH SNAPPAGE! Really?! That has to be someone that knows Dell, then!"

"Yeah, it has to be. I don't really care though, man. That shit is so fucking funny!"

"Yeah, it was…until Dell started yelling."

"Maybe, but you know what they say about yelling."

"What is that?" Neru asked curiously, while her microphone was not keyed.

"Yelling is always funny."

"True that," Neru chuckled.

Soon Dell came back to the computer and the _afk_ sign next to his name went away.

"I'm back," Dell grumbled. "Is he gone?"

"I dunno," one of the hackers lied.

Neru knew full well the hackers knew she was there, but had a feeling they were lying just to have some more fun with Dell.

"_Heeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!"_

"GODDAMMIT!" Dell spluttered.

"_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!"_

"Kid I'm gonna make this very easy for you to understand."

"_Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!"_

"When I DO get your IP, I'll hack my way into your system and I'll wipe your entire hard drive. You will be FUCKED beyond all hope, if you do not stop now."

"_Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait........................wait.....................wait."_

"You do not know who you are fucking with, kid. You have _no_ idea what I can do. If you have a brain, you will quit now."

"You know Dell," Neru said, stopping for a moment just to tell him off, "for all your great hacking skills, there's no way that you can get me. I'm using both proxies _and_ an IP scrambler, so even if you DO get my IP, you can't get into my system, and thus can't do shit to me. Therefore…"

"_WIZARDS SUCK!"_

Neru waited to hear the sounds of clacking keys on a keyboard but instead got a swift kick off the server with the message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been kicked from this server because: leave now please?_

"No, Dell. Not yet."

Neru entered the server one last time, and listened in to Dell, mere inches away from cracking.

"Who is Eluamous Nailo? I swear to God if it's him, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind…"

"Just ban him if he's annoying you dude," a hacker chuckled.

"_One, that plan sucks, and two, you're gay!"_

What followed was the sound of Dell completely losing it over Ventrilo, uttering curses and yelling incoherencies that expressed the level of anger and frustration felt at this strange night on Ventrilo, all set to the chorus of his hacker friends cracking up and Neru almost falling out of her chair, in tears of joy. As Neru was enjoying another victory in her trolling campaign, she was banned from the server and received the following message:

_Ventrilo – Server Message:_

_You have been banned from this server because: man you are awesome, thanks for the great show. Sorry to ban you like this. Come back any time!_

Undoubtedly the message was written by one of Dell's hacker friends that wanted to save Dell a bit of humanity, but secretly loved every minute of this night of harassment.

Neru would definitely come back for him.

Definitely.

* * *

A/N: Successful troll is successful. CX Read, review, and stay tuned for the next edition of Fun With Ventrilo! Who will Neru pwn next with her l33t troll skills? Find out next time!


End file.
